What's Happened So Far . . .

Realizing that I've started this blog at the beginning of, but still well into, our journey toward open adoption, I feel the need to devote the first few entries (or whatever it takes!) to introducing myself and my family and explaining our situation and filling whoever might be reading this in on what has transpired to date.

I'll start with a timeline of relevant events thus far . . . 

July 1992:  DH and I have our first date, just before beginning our senior year of high school.  We've been friends for a few years already, and he's asked me out approximately 5,732 times before I finally say "yes".  We go to Pizza Papa for supper and see Wayne's World afterward.  

September 1996: DH and I get married!  :)  

January 1998: Our DS is born!  (Funny, for 14.5 years we haven't needed any explanation other than "our son"; now I find myself mentally calling him our birthson. I guess we'll see what happens . . . )

May 2011:  After many, many years of fertility issues (I'll chronicle those another time), I finally find a good OB/GYN who believes that my symptoms are as horrible as I keep saying they are, even though nothing shows up on ultrasound.  I have an exploratory laparoscopic surgery and am diagnosed with severe endometriosis (which is cauterized at the time of my surgery) and several uterine fibroids.  My OB/GYN suggests a "wait and see" approach with the fibroids, not being able to determine if my symptoms are caused by the endo or the fibroids.  I agree; although "hysterectomy" has been on the tip of my tongue for years, it's a bit daunting (and final) to seriously consider actually going through with it.

September 2011:  I waited and saw, honest I did!  But it wasn't just the endo.  I end up having a laparoscopic supracervical hysterectomy (or LSH), taking just my uterus and leaving my ovaries, tubes, and cervix.  I'm in the hospital for two days and then home recovering for two weeks before going back to work. 

October 2011:  There's an announcement in our church's bulletin that there will be an informative session for families considering adoption at a nearby church in a few weeks.  DH and I have always, before we even got married, talked about being foster parents one day, but have never been able to agree on exactly WHEN that should be; when one of us feels ready, the other isn't, and we can always come up with reasons why it's not a good time to do that now but someday we will.  After talking about it for the 5,732nd time (what is it with me and that number?!), we decide that instead of fostering, we both feel called to something more permanent . . . adoption.

November 2011:  We attend said informational meeting at a nearby church and decide that domestic open adoption is definitely without a doubt, the path we want to take.  The path we are meant to take.  The agency we've chosen (it was a no-brainer; we wanted a faith-based organization) says they aren't considering new applications until after January 1st.

December 2011:  I make sure we have our initial application filled out and mail it in so that it is sure to reach their office the first week of January.  I don't want it to get there too early, lest it end up in the middle of a "to do" pile, but I don't want it to get there too late (possibly conveying hesitancy!), either.

January 1, 2012:  We start checking the mailbox and voicemail almost obsessively.  Did they get our application??  Will we be considered??

Middle of January, 2012:  We get a call from the Adoption Counselor and have our screening interview.  Which turns out to be about three hours long because we have a LOT of questions!  We both leave feeling confident but guarded; the counselor tells us we should expect a phone call in the next week or two, and sends us on our way with half a dozen forms to fill out in the meantime.

February 20, 2012:  After jumping every time the phone rings to no avail, and endless conversations that go something like, "Well maybe we should call them?"  "No, they said they'd call us; we don't want to seem pushy." etc. and convincing ourselves and each other that maybe it wasn't meant to be, after all, we get a letter in the mail congratulating us on being accepted for study into the program!  We're given even more paperwork to start on, asked to send in our first payment, and informed that we'll be in the summer group for our mandatory adoption education.  "Summer" is all we get right now; we'll be notified later when exactly those dates will be.  

We start telling our families about our plans.  We need reference letters from some of them, and you can't tell some of them something without everyone finding out.  :)

May 16, 2012:  We get "the letter" for which we've been waiting impatiently, letting us know that our educational classes will be held at the end of July.  There are five sessions that we are both required to attend -- two 4-hour sessions and three 8-hour sessions, spread out over two weeks.  We'll be with three other pre-adoptive couples.  

August 2012:  We have finished our adoption education requirement and turned in most of the paperwork (biographies, questionnaires, income information, fire and disaster plans for our home, reference letters from family, friends, and our Pastor . . . I'm sure I'm forgetting something but suffice to say that we did our part to ensure the paper industry stays in business).  In speaking about this process, we are no longer hearing "if you adopt a child" but "when you adopt your child".  It's exciting and terrifying . . . and not at all unlike taking a home pregnancy test and seeing the two little lines come up for the first time!

So, that's where we are now.  Our home visit is scheduled for the 6th of September, and before that time we have some more loose ends to tie up.  DH and I both need to have our health reports filled out and some blood work and other testing done.  We need a letter from the doctor verifying that DS is healthy and doesn't pose any health risks to another child.  We need certificates of health as well as proof of rabies vaccinations for our two dogs and one cat.  We need to have our well water tested.  We need a certified copy of DH's birth certificate (I already have one of mine, plus one of our marriage certificate, plus one of my divorce decree from another time and place).  We have some repairs to make to the house (mostly cosmetic; our house isn't perfect, but it's as safe as a 130-some-year-old renovated farmhouse can be!).  And of course, we have to put together our portfolios.  I have only scrapbooked once in my life, about 13 years ago, when I went to a Creative Memories party with my in-laws.  It was fun at the time, but I never took to it because it seemed expensive.  Well . . . I'll have to call upon my inner Creative Goddess again, because we have to put together TWO identical portfolios which a potential birthmother will view when she is considering us as the family that will raise her unborn child.  No pressure at all, right?

I guess that's all for now.  I'll fill in some more of the gaps next time!