The other day, I taped a to-do list onto the side of the monitor, not only so I'm forced to look at it every time I'm at my desk, but also so it doesn't get lost amongst the barrage of photos on the desk. (Yes, they're still there. The piles have shifted somewhat, but we haven't done any more work on our portfolio since my last entry.) I thought it would be my all-inclusive list of What Needs To Be Accomplished Before The Home Visit (emphasis mine), but as it turns out it's not all-inclusive. I'd forgotten about the Prepare-Enrich Assessment!
Part of our home study includes DH and I both completing a "couple assessment" known as Prepare-Enrich. They have a website, if you're so inclined. Basically, DH and I both fill out separate surveys with questions like . . . oh, ooops! I'm not supposed to discuss the questions with anyone. That's okay; there were so many questions, I don't remember many exact questions anyway. The gist of it is to find out whether DH and I are on the same page as far as our emotional preparedness for adopting a child. I totally understand it -- we had to undergo similar testing before we got married, to find out if we had compatible goals and motivations in life. (In case you're wondering, we did -- and mostly still do!) They want to make sure that we're secure in our lives as a married couple before we undertake the huge stressor of having another child. Another hoop to jump through, as far as I'm concerned; our adoption worker will discuss the results of our assessment when she's here for our home visit.
I also started reading one of the required books for the education part of this process -- it's called The Spirit of Open Adoption by James L. Gritter (ISBN 0-87868-637-1). I'm not very far into it yet, but I already find it much more interesting than the other book we were required to read -- Dear Birthmother: Thank You for Our Baby, by Kathleen Silber. Don't get me wrong, Birthmother was interesting, but it was also published in 1991 and the world of open adoption has changed a little bit in the last 21 years. It did help me see the some of the merits of open adoption (vs. closed adoption, where the birthparents are expected to go on with their lives like nothing ever happened, and the child and their adoptive family are left knowing absolutely nothing about the child's genetic background).
I talked to my employer this week about my planned leave under FMLA (the Family Medical Leave Act). This wasn't entirely related to our adoption story; as I think I mentioned previously, I'm having gallbladder surgery in a few days, and wanted to find out whether taking two weeks under FMLA right now would affect my being able to take the full 12 weeks after placement. (It will, if placement happens within the next 52 weeks.) I've never had to deal with FMLA before -- when I had DS, I was able to quit my job completely when I was about 4 months pregnant (long story, DH got a promotion and we ended up moving to another state) so this will be my first experience with "maternity leave" and whatnot.
See? It's always something. I haven't even mentioned any of the things on the aforementioned to-do list that's taped to my monitor. I know these things will get done . . . I know they will not get done overnight . . . I know that I should probably be working on something else instead of writing this blog right now. But I also know that, somehow, everything will get done. I am a nursing school survivor, after all, and one big thing I learned in nursing school (besides how to wash my hands and start IV's and give enemas and write care plans and all that fun stuff) is how NOT to get overwhelmed by big projects. Just keep plugging away, a little at a time, and it will all get done; this I know and believe with all of my heart.
I think I need to re-write that list.
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