A dent has been made!

First off -- major props (which is a good thing, right?) to my friends, especially P, who offered to let me use their paper cutters after reading yesterday's entry.  I feel so blessed to have such generous friends!  P (I didn't ask her if I could use her name here so I won't...) gets special props because she actually showed up at my door with her paper cutter and some other crafting goodies!  That made my day (and saved me a few pennies, too!)!  Let me get all sappy for a moment and just say that I wish I could put into words how much we appreciate all of the support we've received so far.  It warms my heart every time someone makes a comment about our journey on FB, or sends me an email or a message, or stops me at work or church or at the grocery store or while we're waiting to pick up the boy from one or another of his many social engagements (!!) to ask how things are going and share some emotional support, offer assistance, or just let us know we're in their thoughts and prayers.  It means so much!!  Even though we are confident that this is the path God means for us to be on right now, it never hurts to know that we have "earthly" support as well!  *ahem*  Yeah, well, I don't do "sappy" very well.  And I tend to be a private person (not antisocial, just private . . . and YES, there is a difference!) so a lot of times I'm still shell-shocked, trying to grasp the idea that even though this is "our" journey, it's going to affect so many people other than ourselves.  So thank you, yes YOU, for reading this and thinking about us.  Sappiness: done!

ANYWAY . . . after P dropped off the goodies last night, I couldn't wait to get back to work on the portfolio.  I got one page (and it's duplicate) done, what a great feeling!  To finally see some semblance of a finished product with this project that I've been putting off for a while now, it's an awesome feeling.  I know, I know, it's only one page, and I have 23 more (plus duplicates) to go.  I spent a long time looking at that one page, trying to imagine what it would be like seeing it from "the other side" -- as a birthmom.  And then thinking about how one day, in the maybe-not-too-distant-future, "our" birthmom will be looking through those very same pages.  She'll see our pictures and read our words, and she'll know.  It gives me warm fuzzies just thinking about it!

So, this morning I got up (which is always a good sign) and couldn't wait to get back to working on the portfolio.  I had trouble falling asleep last night because I was trying to mentally lay out the next few pages.  I can't believe I'm actually having fun doing this!  Well, that is, until I realized that I need to print out some more pictures.  I have certain pictures in mind that didn't end up getting printed with the first round, for some reason . . . so I now have another file started called "Round 2!" and I already have almost a dozen more shots to be printed off.  The people at the Wally-world photo center will probably know me very well by the time this project is complete!  I can't wait to get the new prints back and finish up the next few sections.  I'm reminded of how difficult it is to choose just the right photos, because we have so darn many of them and most of them are just so darn good, it breaks my heart to not be able to use them all. 

Well, we're out of the gate and headed toward the first turn.  Our "presentation books" are starting to look less like generic office supplies and more like prospective adoptive family portfolios.  I'm kind of sad that we don't get to keep them after I'm done pouring all of this heart, soul, contemplation, and energy into them . . . but not really.  For one thing, we're going to make color copies of each page when we're done, to keep for our own records.  And for another thing, I'm hoping that we'll be able to give "our" birthmom one of the books to keep when this is all said and done, as well.  I hope it will give her comfort, someday, when she needs it most.  I hope it will help her feel connected to us.  I hope she will enjoy paging through it as much as I am enjoying creating it. 

Tonight we're planning another run to the craft store (we didn't go last night) to get more of those cool, sparkly-letters (see yesterday's entry).  I'm going to have a quick lunch here (even though it's already 2pm . . . ooops!) and then keep plugging away.  I have the first draft of our resume' letter to finish up and examine with a fine-toothed comb, plus I'm saving a page in the portfolios to write another sort of "Dear Birthmother" letter, and I want to find some Scripture and other quotes about adoption and families and love and all that good stuff.  I think I need a clone.