So many photos, so little space on a page!

This weekend, DH (which stands for Dear Husband, sorry I didn't clarify that in my previous entry) and I started going through the vast array of photos we have saved on our hard drive and picking out the ones we thought should be in the portfolio.

Before I go any further with this, I'll explain a little about the requirements for our portfolio.  On our first day of adoption education class, we were given two blank books -- actually labelled as a "presentation book" from Staples.  To keep things fair, I suppose, every portfolio at our agency has to be in the same kind of book.  Each book has 12 sleeves for letter-sized (8.5" x 11") pages, plus the front cover and inside the front and back covers, which we are given free rein to decorate as best we see fit.  We were able to "oooh" and "aaaah" over several examples made by other families, which was helpful (at least to me!).  We are required to make two identical books, one for our home office to keep, and one for the main headquarters (I guess, for lack of a better word) for our agency.  That way, birthmothers all over the state, and not just our region, will have access to our portfolios for consideration.

There's no pressure at all to make our portfolio outstanding.  We have to give the best and most creative representation of ourselves, our past, our present, and our future in 24 pages (plus a cover, plus the inside of the front and back covers) without giving away any identifiable information (so, no mentioning the names of the parks we live nearby or the awesome schools in our district).  A birthmother (and maybe a birthfather, too) will one day look at this book and say, "Yes!!  THIS is the family we're looking for," and we'll all live happily ever after.  This book will have to grab the attention of an uncertain, emotional, hormonal pregnant woman . . . and something about it will stand out to her.  Will it be the cool glittery letters we chose for the front cover?  The fact that we used just the right amount of stickers on each page, or will she think we used too many or not enough?

Something will stand out to her and she will realize that we are meant to be together.  But "something" could be danged-near anything.  Nope . . . no pressure at all.

Last night, I sent in an order to the Walmart photo center -- we had narrowed it down to 130 photos, and of course we need duplicates (two portfolios, remember?).  So today we picked up our 260 prints, and added them to the mix of a couple boxes of photos we have from the pre-digital-photography days, and two three bags of miscellaneous scrapbooking stuff leftover from the Creative Memories party I went to with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law about 13 years ago.  Oh yeah, and the three bags of paper and stickers and such that we've picked up so far on our own.  I have no idea how people accumulate so much scrapbooking stuff . . . we're putting together one (okay, two) books, and the dining room is already overtaken with supplies.  But, I digress . . .

We picked out too many photos.  (Too many to be able to use in the portfolio, anyway; I already have ideas of things to do with the prints that don't make the portfolio cut when this is done.  Maybe another scrapbook, or a framing project, or something . . . )  I have in front of me right now at this moment, 15 stacks of photos -- grouped into stacks by my dear, dear hubby, according to subject -- which are all beautiful and heart-warming and wonderful examples of us and our lives . . . but we don't have room for all of them.  It is literally breaking my heart to not be able to include some of these pics.  What if "the one" that would seal the deal for the birthmom is this one right here of DS (Dear Son) and the pony?  Or this one over here, of me holding my niece when she was just a few months old?  Or the one of DH and our toddler nephew both making goofy faces?  It's so. not. fair. that I can't include them all.

Because I have a biased passion interest in 99% of these pictures (since I took 99% of them), and judging by how upset I was getting earlier when DH was choosing some photos (and dismissing some others) for a mock-layout of each page in our portfolio, I am trying my best to concede and let him pick out the pictures we'll use.  I was thisfaraway from putting in another order tonight to have all the same pictures printed out in 2x3 size instead of 4x6, but DH talked me out of that ("if we crop them instead of just ordering smaller prints, we won't lose detail" and blah blah blah).  I want every page to be a collage, crammed full of every single photo I can possibly fit, and he wants to do 3 or 4 of the best pics on each page.  Unfortunately, I can see his point; quality is better than quantity.  And having to choose which pictures make the cut is like, well, what I imagine trying to choose your favorite child feels like.  (Obviously I've never had that experience, personally.)  I can't do it; I love them all.

The ironic part in all of this is that, while going through our mock-layout, we realized we need more pictures of specific things.  So we have too many pictures, but still need more.  My head is spinning.

We're taking a break for tonight.  I am looking forward to actually putting these portfolios together and am planning on doing so in the next couple weeks when I'm off of work.  Oh, I didn't mention that yet?  I'm having my gallbladder removed on Thursday.  Because we don't have enough going on in our lives at the moment!  At least I was able to put it off until after our classes were done.

Anyway . . . like I said on FB, I am completely and utterly grateful and overwhelmed with the number of  friends who have offered to help me with the scrapbooking aspect!!  Apparently I'm friends with enough scrapbookers that I should, like, host a retreat or something.  How do you all find the time?!  Wowza!

If you don't hear from me for a couple of days, it's because I've lost the computer in the mounds of craft supplies, stacks of photos, and endless "to do" lists that are slowly taking over my desk.  It's organized chaos here right now.  I have never felt so much pressure to do well on an "assignment" in my life.  My uber-perfectionist tendencies (yes, I do have them . . . I'm a Virgo, after all) are starting to surface, and I have a feeling it's not going to be pretty when they let loose.

Until then, I will keep plugging away at the portfolios.  And writing our resume letter (which is a topic for a whole 'nother time!), and getting all the other i's dotted and t's crossed.  And getting the spare room decluttered (took a big chunk out of that project this weekend, too!).  Thanks for reading.  Thanks for the positive feedback you've given on my blog so far.  And most of all, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and support on this journey!  God doesn't give us more than we can handle, right?  I know it's cliche, but sometimes I really do wish He didn't think I could handle so much at once.  :)