It's as they say...

Yesterday should have been one of those days where I was allowed to walk around with a sign that said, "Remember to be kind to those around you because you never know what they're going through." or better yet, "Leave me the f*** alone because I'm having a mixed-up emotional kind of day and I don't want to deal with any of your stupid, petty shit!" or the slightly less aggressive version, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff."

But, of course, this is real life and in real life we only get to dream about carrying signs like that.  

It wasn't just that I was stressing out about work, because nurse scheduling is tight right now and I felt bad about needing to take a few hours off to take care of some personal business which put a minor disruption in the matrix (although less of a disruption than I perceived, I'm sure, but I hate to cause any disruption at all).  

*ahem*

On September 30, 2004, we moved out of the big city and began the rest of our lives here in the country, on our little farm.  Something I'd wanted to do all my frickin' life! Due to my poor documentation at the time, I don't remember if we closed that day (it was a Thursday) and moved in over the weekend, or closed earlier in the week (I always think we closed on the 27th or 28th for some reason) but I do remember that the boy and I spent the first few nights out here ourselves before the weekend when we brought all the rest of the furniture etc.  I remember that he finished the week at school in St. Paul, so maybe we did close on Thursday and he didn't have school on Friday and we moved the stuff in on the weekend. I'm not sure why he wouldn't have had school on Friday but who knows? 

WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE, I was super emotional yesterday because it was 17 years pretty much to the day that we moved into this house, and it was also the day we officially sold it.  Now you might wonder, as I myself am also wondering, why I am so emotional about selling the damn house, especially because it's still in the family and it's not like I'll never see it again, and the plan all along was to tear this house down and build a new one so WTF?  

So I will tell you, as I ruminate on this a bit more -- it's not "the house".  It's not that I'm going to miss these specific walls (that are still sponge-painted light blue from when we moved in 17 years ago....yikes) or this specific floor or the popcorn ceilings or the wallpaper in the kitchen that I was always going to attempt to peel off but never did.  It's all the memories of living here, of course, and how old they make me feel.  The boy was just a little 1st grader when we moved here, and now he's a frickin' adult. I never would have guessed that he would be living here himself one day!  

I think it's just all the stress of everything.  

The last offer we made on the second-to-last house we looked at was accepted.  We're in the process of coordinating inspections and appraisals, I've spent the week gathering/scanning/submitting paperwork, and we're hoping to move into our beautiful new home in a little over a month.  I should be bouncing off the walls excited (and believe me, at first I was!), and inside I really am, but I knew this "downer" part was coming!  Finding out the offer was accepted is the high point -- then, for me anyway, came the sticker shock, quickly followed by the rush to get everything together financially, and now as we wait for the results of the various inspections to come in, we also wait for the sellers to go through what we just went through and find a new place -- hopefully in a MUCH shorter time frame than we did!  We said we'd be flexible on the closing date to allow them time to find a place if necessary, but I hope this doesn't get dragged out too much longer.  Our new landlord wants us out ;). 

We're still in limbo. The new place is basically move-in ready for us, but we need to put up some fencing and shelter for the horses before they can move over.  We are also planning on leaving much of the furniture here for the boy, so we need to decide what kind of furniture we'd like in our new place, and also how to get it on a budget.  It's like the hubby said last night -- it's as if we're starting over again. Which is kind of fun, starting with a clean slate, and this time we can be picky and only get what we want instead of whatever we can find.  It's another major life transition -- instead of going from the city to the country, we're going from the country to the more rural country.  We will be farther out there, not as close to fast food and restaurants as we are now.  

Alright, I gotta get back to work.  TTYL!