I've allowed myself a few brief moments of imagining what life will be like after Thursday . . . or better yet, after approximately two weeks from Friday, which is when our home visit should be officially "approved" and our portfolios available for potential birthmoms to see. I imagine that it won't be much different than it is now . . . at least not on the outside. I've never been good at playing the waiting game, and this is like THE ultimate match for me. If ever I have needed to learn to be patient, it is now. This waiting game will make anything else I've had to wait for in my life seem like nothing, or so I'm guessing. That's okay -- I can do it. I know I can do it. I know it won't be easy, but it seems like nothing worthwhile in life comes easily . . .
We spent some time in our classes talking about things to do while waiting to be matched after the home study. I've actually got a short list going already (but not on paper, yet) of Things To Do After The Home Study. I should maybe put that list on paper now, since "the time" is drawing near! One thing that is at the top of that list is to apply for grants. Some time ago (as in late last year or early this one) I hit the interwebs and looked up sources of grants to use toward adoption fees. The good news was that I found quite a few for which we'd be eligible, but the bad news was that none of them would even consider applications unless the applicant(s) had completed their home study. So that's been on the back burner for a while, but will be pulled up again soon.
The other thing I'm planning on doing during our wait is attempting to induce lactation. In myself. (Just to clarify, ha! ha!) I don't remember exactly when DH and I discussed this option, but I'm pretty sure it went something like this:
Me: "I've been thinking that maybe 'we' should try breastfeeding our adopted baby."
DH: "That's your call. Sounds good to me."
"My call", indeed! After some online research, and talking to several lactation consultants (and even a mother of twins who succeeded in "beefing up" her milk supply when she wasn't producing enough for both of her babies), I've decided it's the route I want to take. I'm trying not to say things like "attempting to" or "trying to" because I'm a believer in the power of positive thinking. I'm also trying to remind myself that the internet is full of negativity, and so just because I've read online that it's not easy to induce lactation and also that most adoptive moms who successfully induce lactation still aren't able to produce enough to exclusively nourish their new babies, doesn't mean that's how it's going to be for me. I've heard that it does happen more easily for moms who have successfully breastfed before, and that would be where I fit in!! So . . . the big questions are, when do I start trying, and how do I start trying?
The "when" has always been "after the home study is finalized". This is my own timeline, set by me, because I want to make sure I have enough time to get things going before we get placed. I don't want to wait until we're matched -- I just feel like I'll need more time than that. Of course, I could start lactating abundantly right away and not matched for a while, in which case, we have a chest freezer (no pun intended). That answers that question, and also means that I'll need to start in just a few more days.
Which leads to the "how". From what I've read, offline and on, and discussed with others and heard personally from people who have had success in this area, there are two general ways to go about this: with drugs, or without. Let me just put my little disclaimer in here that what I'm going to share is based solely on my own research and is NOT in any way, shape, or form intended to be advice for others. Okay? Okay. There are certain medications out there that have the side effect of inducing or increasing lactation, but I shan't mention them by name because they aren't FDA-approved for that use. In fact, one of them isn't even legal in the United States, and I'm not so sure I want to risk buying meds from Mexico even for this purpose, so I'm leaning away from the pharmaceutically-assisted route. There are also hormonal supplements which are said to be helpful, which makes sense since hormones play such a huge massive role in pregnancy and childbirth anyway -- but I'm not sure I want to go that route right away, either. Generally speaking, I don't like having to take pills.
But there are ways of stimulating hormonal activity other than oral supplementation . . . such as, mechanical stimulation! Some things I've read say the best way to induce lactation is to just start putting the baby to the breast as soon as possible. I've also read that using a good breast-pump is a sufficient way to get started before the baby arrives. That the action of pumping or suckling alone is enough to make a woman's body start producing milk, eventually. I guess we'll find out, because my plan is to start pumping -- and thinking back to my plan of "after the home study", it looks like I'll be starting this very soon! I'll see how it goes with that alone, and then consider another step in a few weeks or so if necessary. I really don't know what to expect. I'm sure it will be interesting . . . I only used a breast pump when DS was a baby on rare occasions, and even then it was a pain-in-the-butt manually-operated pump that made me feel not unlike a dairy cow. I bought a breast pump this summer that definitely lends to the feeling-like-a-dairy-cow persona. It requires a power source and can be hooked up to both breasts at the same time. I wonder if I can shove my head into a stanchion and chow down while this is happening, too, just for the full effect? If I start referring to myself as "Bessie" and wearing a cowbell around my neck, will someone please intervene? ;)
Alright, I kid . . . mostly. I've got the equipment, the motivation, and the determination to make this work. I am a firm believer in the benefits of breastmilk over formula (DS got both -- but mostly breastmilk for the first six months of his life) and, in all seriousness, I really want this plan to work. Not only is breastmilk more convenient and cheaper than formula, it's nature's most perfect infant nourishment. It's also a way for me to feel more physically connected to my adopted child -- not that I think that will be an issue, but, you know. It's a beautiful thing, and I don't want to deprive our next child of that experience.
So, there. After these last few entries, you probably know more about my mammaries than you ever imagined you'd want to know. I've certainly written about them more than I ever thought I would. Talk about pushing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone every now and again . . .
. . . and on that note, I will sign off. I got more cleaning done today and have just a little more finessing to do before Thursday, but plenty of time to get it done. Other than that, we're all just sitting around watching TV and enjoying each other's company. Tomorrow, my baby boy starts high school . . . AHHHHHHH!!!!!
Until next time . . .
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