Disclaimer: I haven't watched the above video yet, but I've seen the band and I know the song, so hopefully I'm not making a huge mistake here. ha, ha, ha, ha...
I had originally posted "I Dream Myself Alive" but just as I was about to start writing, it dawned on me that "When You Dream" was more appropriate. Don't you hate it when that happens? When you think you have the perfect line and you get all set up and then all of the sudden (just kidding, I hate it when people say "all of the sudden") I mean all of a sudden, a more perfecter line comes to mind? I shouldn't hate it, I know, because it's a more perfecter line, but still. Now I'm off track. And I'm not going to apologize for using "perfecter" the way I used it, even though that's not how it's supposed to be used. Welcome to my mind: my inner proofreader is annoyed by the use of "all of the sudden" but not "perfecter".
I've always been a vivid dreamer. At times, I've read about dream symbolism and the hidden meanings behind dreams and all that, but truth be told, I don't really buy it. There might be a sliver of truth to the idea that dreams in which my teeth are all falling out mean I'm anxious about something in real life, but maybe the thing I'm anxious about in real life is going to the dentist and finding out I have to have my teeth pulled, eh? (Come to think of it, I haven't had that dream in a long time... they probably stopped around the time I, um, you know -- went to the dentist and had that one tooth pulled. OH MY GOSH THE SYMBOLISM!!) I'm also not completely convinced that dreaming about tornadoes (another common recurrence in my dreams) means my life is about to be in upheaval. Maybe I just don't like tornadoes, okay? And don't want to be caught in one ever again.
I don't know. On the other hand, I know the subconscious mind is an enigma and it seems like it stores all kinds of funny things in there, and probably can manifest these things as common relatable objects any time it likes. When I was younger, I'd overheard my mom and my aunt saying that dreaming about being chased by bears was common after getting out of an abusive relationship. I don't know why I held on to that bit of trivia when I did, because I was probably like 8 or 9 or 10 or so, but it stayed with me for a long time. So then, fast forward some years, and when I was getting out of an abusive relationship, I'd have frequent dreams about being chased by bears. Now, is that because I had that tidbit stored in my memory banks for so long, or is there really something to that? That's a rhetorical question. I didn't make the connection right away, I just knew I kept having awful dreams where I was running and running and this stupid bear would almost catch me and then I'd wake up. First I'd be terrified and then I'd be mad that I couldn't stop having the stupid bear dream. Eventually I remembered overhearing what I'd overheard (and I don't even know if I overheard it because I wasn't supposed to hear it, or if it was one of those things that I overheard in plain sight but didn't ask questions about because it was an adult conversation and I was just a kid so I didn't really care) (or maybe I didn't even hear them talking about it at all, maybe it was on TV or something, I just know that when I think of that piece of information I think of my mom and my aunt and I can totally imagine it was something they would have said in conversation for some odd reason). And then I started telling myself that I was going to start fighting the bear instead of running from it. I don't remember how long that took, but eventually it worked. The last time I had the stupid bear dream, I stood up to that damn thing and told it to leave me alone and basically I scolded it back into the dark forest from where it came and I haven't seen it since.
So there's something to dreams, that much I do believe, but mostly I just find them amusing and entertaining. When I first had the idea for this blog entry today, it was because I've had a few dreams this week with my sister in them, and those are angry dreams. And I know why they've resurfaced again, which is because I was at my parents' house earlier this week and my mom said she texted my sister a few weeks ago but hasn't heard back from her (not that she expected to because she never answers back). And I was thinking, I should write about that now... "that" being my sister and whatever is going on. I'm not even sure what is going on, I thought maybe writing it out would help me figure it out from my angle. But now I'm out of time, because I'm writing this on my lunch break.
Not that you can tell it by me. It's 40ºF right now, and I'm still cold. It could be -40ºF as far as I'm concerned. I'm tempted to go grab another sweatshirt, that's how cold I am right now. I'm sitting here at my computer underneath a blanket and contemplating grabbing the space heater, because that's how cold I am right now. Even though most of my brain is yelling at me because it's sunny at 40ºF above fricking zero and I shouldn't be cold, but, I'm cold.
I mean, I'm glad it's "spring". I know it's still winter, but I'm happy to be able to call it something with the word "spring" in it, even if it's just to trick myself into feeling warmer. (Which isn't working!) It's only March 3rd. We've probably got at least one snow storm ahead of us before winter is actually over, but the good thing about March snow storms -- as any Midwesterner will tell you -- is that the snow doesn't last long. And that's the best kind of snow!
But spring isn't my favorite season. It really is not. I like that things are warming up and new green things are starting to grow, don't get me wrong. But I don't like the mud. So much mud... the only thing I don't like about living here. (And even then, it's not enough to make me want to move back to the city!) Aaaaaand, now I'm having flashbacks to last year's Flood. THAT was horrible... that made the usual spring thaw look like nothing. I'll have to keep that in mind this year. After The Flood, there was mud caked on the grass and the trees and the fence posts and inside our vehicles and on the walls of the barns and the garage and every-effing-where and forever... there are still muddy tools out in the barn. I think that's why I'm even more anti-spring-mud this year. I'm still traumatized by The Flood.
But anyway...
So here we are, it's almost spring and I didn't plant any tulips last fall like I always say I'm going to, but so far have not done. I want to have a prettiful yard, I really do! And it's not like I don't the space for it, it's just that I don't know where to start. I've never had a green thumb before. I was actually thinking about that earlier today while I was watering the Easter lily I've had for a few years now. I used to be a plant hospice worker, but now I actually do okay with them. (I don't think I've improved much, I've just learned which plants can survive the longest without being watered!) I don't know. We'll see. I'm getting too far ahead of myself here. There's still snow knee-deep behind the barn, so I've got a while before I can fathom planting pretty stuff in my yard this year.
I had the fun of driving an all-electric car last week! I had to take the Nox to the shop, which is another annoying story. This happened while my hubby was on the other side of the country, of course, and we were in the middle of the polar vortex or whatever it was. I was driving to work one morning, and it was about 5ºF (so it was warming up after the polar vortex!) and I was contemplating getting a car wash because the Nox was super dirty and before you tell me that's too cold for a car wash don't even get started because IT IS NOT, in fact that's about the lower end of my limit but it is NOT too cold. Anyway, it was just after 6am, the odometer had just turned to 17,901 miles (don't ask why I paid attention to that but I did), I had the cruise control set to 75mph and the heat cranked up to max and was listening to a-ha on shuffle when all of a sudden the warning beep started beeping and my driver information center flashed up a message that said, "Driving Power Reduced. Service Engine Soon." and the check engine light came on and I was like.... well, I'm not going to tell you exactly which words came out of my mouth because they're not flattering. Instinctually, I cut the cruise control off, turned off the fan, and turned down the radio so I could hear the engine. It sounded fine. Checked the gauges -- wasn't overheating, oil pressure was good, still had power. As I pulled off at the next exit to stop at the gas station (because I was running at about a quarter of a tank and thought maybe that had something to do with it), I got a text. I still have it saved! It says: "Diagnostic Alert: Service the engine and transmission system in your 2020 Equinox within 7 days." Which of course sounds much more ominous when it's like three minutes after lights and bells and whistles started going off while you're driving said Equinox to work in the morning in the dark during a snowstorm (oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was spitting snow that morning) when you're halfway to work and your husband's on the other side of the country and you can't hear anything because you have an ear infection and you're kinda just fed up with life at that moment because it's so cold your drain pipes are also frozen and you're not sure who you would call if you actually did break down because your son is home but even if he is an adult he's still your baby boy in your mind, and it occurs to you for the first time that you wouldn't call your dad to rescue you anymore either because it'd be dangerous for him and that makes you kind of sad because he's always been the one to rescue you when your vehicles have broken down but you don't have time to get all nostalgic and emotional because you have to Adult Now. Right Now. And oh Lord, transmission problems didn't even occur to me until then! I didn't want to go back home because I had clinic that day, and I didn't want to put that off on someone else. So I stopped at the gas station, topped off the tank, checked the oil (it was fine -- clean, not low). And that was about all I knew how to do, lol. I did text DH and let him know he'd be getting an email from the Equinox (because after it texts me Diagnostic Alerts, it emails him. Weird, I know.)
SHORT STORY LONG, I had to drop it off at the dealership last week to get looked at. Turns out it was some sensor that got messed up when it was super cold and then warmed up again. They took the sensor out, cleaned it up, put it back in and reset the codes and it was fine. Oh, I mean, they ordered a new one, too, but the ETA on it is "who knows?!" and they said it was safe to drive so I picked it up the same day and have been driving it since without any further issues. But when I made the appointment, they said they'd get me a loaner car. I didn't argue :) I'm a car girl, it's fun driving something different for a short time! Of course I imagined (wishfully) that I'd get a nice new Camaro, or a Silverado, or even a Cruze or a used Impala or Malibu. (In order of least likely to most likely there, of course!) When I got there that morning to drop off the Nox, they had a Cruze about the era of ours parked in the garage with the key in the door handle, and I was convinced that was my loaner. Not bad, I thought. I've driven a Cruze before, I can handle it. Then they had me go to the front to sign the papers, and the nice lady said something like, "OK, this car is all electric..." and I was like -- um, what now? Quickly trying to remember what Chevy has that's all electric. What's it called -- a Volt? A Bolt?
It was a Bolt. Which is something you use to put cars together, not something you should be driving on the highway, if you ask me. I got to drive it from the dealership to work and back. It was alright. Roomier inside than I thought it would be. Under-powered. Smaller than just about every other vehicle on the road, which displeased me greatly. (I have issues.) It had a heated steering wheel, which would be nice to have on the Nox. Super easy to park, but, I can parallel park a Suburban so that's a bonus but not a deal-breaker. All in all, it was an okay car, but not my deal. I was very glad to be back in the Nox at the end of the day.
And on that note, I have to get back to work now. TTFN!
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am NOT cut out for the single life.
You might not expect that kind of declaration from a homebody introvert with moderate-to-severe social anxiety who would rather sit home and crochet all weekend than go out and see other people. But I've also been married to the same lucky, lucky man for more than half my life. I can make all the jokes I want about being a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, but...eh.
Don't get me wrong - I could be, if I had to be. But I don't have to be.
But, if you ever need proof that I really don't like to be pretending to be single, just send my hubby away for a week or two. Because that's inevitably when the proverbial crap will hit the fan.
I was thinking maybe this was just a winter occurrence, but then I remembered the one summer not that long ago (OK, maybe like 10 years ago? I don't remember for sure.) that he went to Ann Arbor for the week, for work. That was the week we got hit with a big storm that blew the roof off the pump house and took out our power for a while (I want to say a day or two?) and left a smattering of tree limbs and branches all over the decks and the yard. I really don't feel like looking that up on FB right now, because if I do it'll end up taking me three days to get this post published. 😂
A few years ago, he went to work down in Northfield for a few weeks in February. During that time frame, we got hit with winter storms like every other day. I'm not even kidding. It wasn't that long ago, because the boy was in college at the time, and I was literally home alone with the dogs. I remember driving home from work in a blizzard the one night, and it took like two hours, and I had a full-blown panic attack afterward and called in sick the next day and then felt bad because I wasn't really "sick" sick, just having a mental breakdown and not wanting to admit it because I was the Responsible Adult and all. And we got a lot of snow, and I didn't know how to use the tractor and was contemplating hiring someone to plow the driveway. It was awful! This was about the same time that there was the very real possibility that he was going to be sent to work in Las Vegas for a couple of years. I don't even want to talk about that right now. Obviously it didn't happen, but still.
So...like I said yesterday, my hubby is working out of town right now. He comes home on Saturday, yay!! The first week went well here. Nothing major happened. But this week has sucked rocks. The frozen pipes and non-working drain... still not draining. It's warmed up to the teens above zero today, and still not draining. The faucet didn't freeze today and the drain still isn't draining.
But! I remembered to set the garbage and recycling out on Tuesday (I'd forgotten last week). And I've remembered to bring in the mail every day (the hubby usually does that), and of course I've been feeding and watering the outside animals, and keeping the house somewhat clean (actually, the boy unknowingly paid me a huge compliment last week when I was complaining about not feeling up to cleaning the house -- he said that the house wasn't not clean, just very slightly unorganized. I wanted to jump up and hug him!! I've always, always struggled with keeping the house clean. It's not my strong suit. Working from home has definitely helped me stay on top of that, and it's nice that other people notice, too. But I digress!) and keeping us fed and stuff.
Even though I have a stupid painful annoying ear infection right now. I think it started with this pimple type thing I got on my ear from where my Bluetooth phone ear piece rubs it. The Bluetooth phone ear piece that I use when I'm working from home, of course. I only use my phone as a phone when I'm working from home, or to call my parents. Anyway, me being me and not being able to leave things alone, it maybe got a little more irritated than it would have if I wasn't me and would've been able to just leave it alone. Last Saturday night, I woke up in the middle of the night with sharp pains in that ear. It kept me awake most of the night, actually. And also pain in my jaw and neck. Like I could barely open my mouth. And my ear was swollen and red. Fuuuuuuuuuu...dge. I was pretty miserable that day. I took some Tylenol and looked up home remedies and when to go to the doctor, and all that stuff. I felt feverish but didn't have a fever.
Now, you need to know something here. People make jokes all the time about the "man cold" and all that, right? Like how men supposedly turn into big drama queens when they have a cold, or whatever. Well...that's me. I can out man-cold any man on earth. You should also know I have a pretty good pain tolerance. I've continued to function normally through some of the worst pain on earth, the pain of fibroids and endometriosis. Alright? I gave birth to an almost 9-pound baby without any pain medication. And it was a precipitous delivery, which means that labor and delivery happened quickly. Which means there wasn't a lot of transition time, not a lot of time for my body to adjust to new stages...I don't know how else to say this...not a lot of time for stretching? I called it a natural episiotomy because that sounds nicer than big ol' perineal tear. I couldn't walk right for six months. My point being, all of that hurt less than fibroid and endo flare-ups. Not even kidding.
But, if I should be mildly inconvenienced by body aches or sniffles or sinus congestion, all bets are off. Life sucks. No one has ever felt worse than I have at that moment, and I should not be expected to do anything that the normal people do. I may be dying, and no one cares. Just go about your lives! Nothing to see here!! If I survive this round, I'll see you in a few days, I GUESS!!
*ahem*
Alright. Short story long, I started antibiotic ear drops today. The pain is mostly gone but my ear is still all stuffed up. And I feel extra whiney because I'm dealing with all this (the pipes, the cold, the check engine light that I'm not going to have time to write about tonight but will write about tomorrow if I still feel like it even though I really just gave you the overall gist of the story right there, the presentation I had to give to the Executive Committee at work that I was super nervous about because public speaking isn't my thing, even though I knew it'd be fine because I know everyone who was there) while I have an ear infection which makes it all a hundred times worse because it's happening to me. Pity party of one, now being seated...
On that note, I'm going to sign off for now. Check out this accomplishment -- starting and finishing a blog post in one sitting! I'm unstoppable.
Don't tell me it's too late for Christmas songs. For one thing, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" doesn't mention any holiday at all; therefore, it's not actually a Christmas song. It's technically a winter song. And right now, it's winter.
Right now it is -18ºF, with a windchill of -35ºF. I used to say that anything colder than -10ºF didn't matter because at that point it just all feels cold, but I'm going to take that back now. It's fricking cold, and I'm tired of it. We're going on a week of this craziness and, according to the weather reports, in for another week of it. The first time our low is supposed to be above zero is next Saturday. I hate to complain about the weather, because most of us native Midwesterners can appreciate the extremes and may often be found bragging about our ability to survive them (my recent favorite is the one about how it's warmer in our freezers than it is outside right now, and you know, that's not inaccurate) but days and days of the same extreme can wear a person down. Especially when that person doesn't have the luxury of in-floor heating.
We live in an old farmhouse. When a lot of people hear "farmhouse" they imagine all the "farmhouse chic", rustic-type things you can pay through the nose for to make your dwelling look somewhat like the inside of a really nice barn or chicken coop. In our case, I'm going draw your attention to the modifier, "old". We live in an OLD farmhouse. Our house was built in the 1880's. Most of our foundation is actually made of field stones. Insulation? What's that?!?
For real.
I'm not a high-maintenance girl. Never have been. I've lived in old houses all my life. My parents' house, the one they still live in, is an old house. Our house in St. Paul was an old house. Our house in Illinois was a newer house by our standards, but we didn't live there very long. And this house is an old house. I'm used to drafty windows and popcorn ceilings and uneven floors and all that. So much so, that I can't even think of other things to add to that list, because I've never lived in a new enough dwelling to know what I'm missing ;).
Laptop battery's dying. Will be back later.
OK, I'm back. So I wrote that a few days ago. Since then, we had an even colder morning. I have proof! (I love the WTForecast app!)
And since then, our kitchen sink has stopped draining.
In an effort to keep the faucet from freezing, I decided to leave the water ever-so-slightly on at night, and to leave the cabinet doors under the sink open. Well...it worked! The faucet didn't freeze that night! But then I noticed there was about an inch of water in each sink. (We have a double kitchen sink.)
Long story short, yeah. Haven't figured out why yet. My plumber hubby is out of town until Saturday. He's tried to help us troubleshoot over the phone, to no avail. Luckily the other drains and faucets are working just fine, so it's not the whole septic system. Probably just ice built up from . . . ahem . . . someone leaving the faucet on all night. Which we've done before in the past without any issues.
It's always something.
Right now it's warmed up to a balmy 10ºF. ABOVE ZERO!
And since the hubby is out of town, I'm kind of responsible for keeping us all alive. So I'm gonna go make some supper and then relax with some crocheting and dog-cuddling. So, catch ya later!
Oh, I know we've been in 2021 for a few 36 days now, but I wanted to signify the end of my reminiscing-about-2020 intro.
We had some fun times. We did some camping, and fishing, which is always fun. We went to our first road course race, which also happened to be the first time we camped at a race track. I've never camped anywhere but in the woods before, so that was a whole new experience. Imagine living in the most redneck trailer park ever...yep, that's about what it was like! ;) Nah, it was all good. We actually really did have a great time there. We're going back again this year because, as our luck would have it, the NASCAR Cup Series is having their first race there this year! We didn't get the same awesome camp site as we did last year (which was literally like 100 feet away from the track. Don't need to set no alarm clock when you got Lamborghinis and Porsches screaming past your camper at 0700 in the A.M. to wake ya up!) but that's okay, we'll still have fun!
So yes, in case you didn't know that about me yet, I am a huge NASCAR fan. I'll pause here so you can get all the jokes out of the way...don't worry, I've heard them all before. I've been watching NASCAR for as long as I can remember. Way back when the only races they showed on TV were the Daytona and Talladega. (cue Southern accent) I used to sit up in that ol' living room with my Daddy and watch them ol' races on the tee-vee.... (cut back to plan generic Midwestern accent) Alright, that's all I got. I did, though. One of the first toys I remember having when I was little was a big ol' #11 Darrel Waltrip Mountain Dew car. It's why I still have a soft spot for ol' DW today.
My hubby wasn't into NASCAR when I met him, or even when I married him. I don't remember exactly when he converted, but it was somewhere before 2007 because that's when we went to our first NASCAR race. It was at Chicagoland. I believe that ended up being the last daytime race, because the next season they switched to running under the lights. It was fun, overwhelming, and exhausting -- and took us about 5-6 hours just to get out of the parking lot after the race. Yep, that was longer than the race itself. Madness. Not what you want for your first NASCAR experience.
I know I have pictures from there, somewhere on the interlinks. But apparently not on Facebook, because I wasn't on FB yet in 2007. That would've been back in the MySpace days... wow. MySpace has changed. I haven't logged on there since 2018, and go figure, it's taking a while for my pics to load. And I don't have that kind of patience, and I know the pic has been on FB. So, here you go: our family pic from Chicagoland in 2007. The boy was so short!!
Anyway... that was fun.
Our next NASCAR adventure was the big one... the 2011 Daytona 500. Here we are, in all of our pale-Midwesterners-in-the-middle-of-winter glory! Do not adjust your screens, we really were that pale. At least, for the first day. That was also the trip where I got probably the worst sunburn of my life, ever. On my face, of course. Yes, I used sunscreen. Apparently not enough. The week after we returned, I had blisters all over my face. It was lovely. Good thing I worked nights, eh? And too bad face masks weren't all the fashion at that time. But I digress; it was a fun time. It was Daytona!
In 2012, we went to the Michigan race. Like Chicagoland,
that track is within driving distance of our house. It was a fun trip overall, too. I guess I didn't talk about what else we did on our other trips. We didn't really do much else in Daytona in 2011. We went as part of a tour, so didn't rent a car or anything. We basically took a bus to the track every morning, hung out there all day, and then took the bus back to the hotel at night. There wasn't a lot of time or the resources to do other things. In Chicagoland, we rented a car to drive there. I don't remember what else we did while we were there; I think it was the first time we had been back since moving away (that's a story for another time, but we lived in that area -- about 20 minutes away from the track, but it wasn't the track when we lived there -- when the boy was born) so I'm sure we drove around the old 'hood and everything, but there's not much else to do in that part of Chicagoland. OK, now you're caught up. While in Michigan, we also went to the Henry Ford museum and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. The race itself was fun! A little wet; in fact, the race was delayed due to rain, and we got absolutely soaked at one point. But still had fun! Dale Jr won that race. Yee-haw!
Well, my laptop battery is about to die, so this is a good place to break for now. When I return... Daytona 2018 and Road America 2019!!
...alright. I gotta stop with these blog entries that take multiple days to construct!!
And trust me, I am cutting these race memories down to almost nothing. Not even telling you who won, except at Michigan. I didn't tell you about how pumped I was at our first race, because I had my heart set on getting me a pair of Kevin Harvick crocs, and then we got there and found the Crocs trailer and...the Kevin Harvick crocs were red with yellow straps. And looked like clown shoes. And I wanted to cry because I hate clowns and there was no way on God's green earth I was going to wear clown shoes, not even to show my support for Kevin Harvick. And I left out a whole great story about the drunk dudes getting stuck in the muddy ditch in the parking lot. And there are a literal ton of pictures I could be sharing... in fact, I do have to share this one because it's fricking awesome:
Isn't it beautiful? That is my old 2007 Monte Carlo, at Michigan International Speedway. I miss that car. I'll have to tell that story another time.
Because now, as far as NASCAR race stories go, we're up to Daytona Speedweeks 2018!! Holy crap, what an experience! Long story short: there's a bunch of race-related stuff happening in the week leading up to the Daytona 500. And we were there for it!! That whole trip was one of my favorite trips ever. Not only did we get to see so much racing you wouldn't believe it, we also did a lot of touristy crap, too. We stayed in a hotel right on the beach and this time we didn't go with a tour group, so we had our own rental car and went and did other things -- one day we went to the Kennedy Space Center (highly recommend!!), and another day we went sight-seeing and climbed the tallest lighthouse in Florida (also highly recommend!!) and spent some time walking along the beach and exploring the local park, I don't remember which one it was now and don't feel like looking it up, but it was beautiful and I have about 2,000 pictures from that trip in my FB album. Most of them are from the races, but a lot of them aren't. I didn't get a nasty sunburn that time.
And, lucky for you, our last NASCAR trip was to Road America last year. Which was different in so
many ways! We've always wanted to camp at a racetrack, but there aren't many that are close enough, really. Chicagoland, Michigan, Kansas...OK, there's three. And... Road America! Which didn't have Cup races, but in it's favor, is actually in Wisconsin -- so, we decided to give it a try. After all, "in Wisconsin" still could be about 5 hours away, which is about how far away it is. Camping, road courses, racing other than NASCAR (don't get me wrong, there was Xfinity Cup racing there or whatever it is that Busch racing is called now, I can't keep up anymore) and getting out and actually doing something during COVID times...well worth the trip. In fact, we left there wanting to sign up for season tickets. We didn't, but... a few months ago, the hubby found out that his favorite driver, Jimmie Johnson, was going to be driving in the Indy series at Road America this year, so we decided we'd have to go back there again. (It was a really tough decision. Not!!) And then, a short time after that, we found out that the NASCAR Cup series was going to have their very first race there EVER, and we decided we have to go back for that. So! We're going back this year. YAY!
And that, in case you ever wanted to know, is a summary of all of the NASCAR races we have attended.
I've been putting off writing about this for a few days, because I know that writing about it will make me remember painful things. Things that are already bringing tears to my eyes, and I'm not even finished with the second sentence yet. And then I remembered -- hey! This is my blog, I can write as much or as little as I want. For once, I'm going to choose the latter. 😁
I would say the three worst things that happened [to me personally] in 2020 are as follows:
#3: My Dad was in the hospital. I detailed that a few entries ago, not gonna repeat it again here;
#2: The Flood. There have been times in the past when our yard has flooded -- it does that just about every year. But I hope to never, ever experience the horror of opening the basement door and seeing water just a few steps away from the top of the landing. It was the summer of mud around here. That stuff was everywhere, forever.
And the very worst thing that happened this year was that we had to have Luger put to sleep. I hate saying "put to sleep" because that's not true. He was put to death. And that's all I have to say about that.
Alright, we're going to be into February by the time I get done recapping 2020 at this rate.
I'm not complaining! I'm just saying. I like to write. And write some more.
But in the interest of maybe saving some time, I'm going to now turn the tables and list some of the GOOD things that happened in 2020. In no particular order. Maybe.
* My baby boy graduated... from college!! Yep, the boy now has a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. He's got a more advanced degree than I do. I'm so proud!! He graduated with honors, too. Magna Cum Laude, I believe.
*My baby boy also moved back home :) Which has been mostly good for all of us. It's taken some adjusting. His plan is to pay off his student loans and then move out on his own again.
* My baby boy (I'll quit calling him that some day. He just turned 23 years old yesterday.) also got his first "big boy" job! Let's see; he moved back home at the end of May, and set about applying for jobs. Online of course. Long story short, he started working in July. That's going well so far. He's now working every other week from home.
* Speaking of working from home, I get to do that now! I mentioned that in an earlier entry, though. I'm still counting it as a Good Thing That Happened in 2020.
* ...and because of that, my brand new 2020 Equinox that I got in November 2019 (to replace the Cruze that we paid off and then gave to the boy as an early graduation present) has a lot fewer miles on it than I thought it would so far :D I was putting 25k miles per year on the Cruze. 90 miles per day round trip x 5 days per week work commutes will do that. But now? I've been driving the Equinox for 14 months and only have 16k miles on it. DEFINITE win!!
* I got to spend more time with my dogs! This will become especially important in a later entry for One Of, If Not The Very Worst Things That Happened in 2020, but I don't want to bring that up yet. Oh my gosh, they loved having me working from home. During the summer, they could go outside all they wanted. Max loves outside (it's his favorite side) and I think he spent most of his days out there. Luger loved laying on the deck long enough to get too hot, and then he'd come inside to cool down and then he'd go back outside again. And I felt a lot less guilty because I wasn't leaving them home alone all day every day.
* I almost forgot -- the kittens!! And Daisy!! It must've been late spring/early summer or so, we started seeing an elusive black and white cat around. It was very skittish but we were all trying to get it to come closer to us. It seemed to get along with our tom cat, Bo, well enough. One day I saw the black and white cat crawling into one of the tractor tires we have in the side yard (the one I intend to plant with flowery crap, someday) and I thought, Damn, I hope it didn't have a litter of kittens in there.
Guess what? It did have a litter of kittens in there. Four of them. Teeny tiny things that looked like they had just opened their eyes and learned to wobble around. Long story short (again), they all have the best homes possible now and they're all spoiled little princesses (yes, they were all girls). And the elusive black and white cat is now Princess Daisy who loves to beg for food and attention and thinks she belongs in the house. We named her Daisy because Bo is named after Bo from the Dukes of Hazzard. We originally had Bo and his brother Luke, but Luke went AWOL a few years ago. So in keeping with the themed names, we went with Bo's other cousin, Daisy. Who prances around like a little princess. She's so stinking cute.
Alright, that's all I've got for tonight. I'm off to have some leftover ice cream birthday cake, play some Candy Crush, and get ready for bed. Nighty-night, y'all!
You know why so many people (dare I say, "we all"??) ended up regressing and acting not unlike bored, frustrated little children at some point in 2020?
Because we were getting tired of hearing, "No, you can't do that."
Kids can't go to school in person anymore? OK. Personally, no big deal for me. What a great time to be parents of a college-aged child who was living on his own (well, in a duplex with his friends, but fully responsible for his own actions)!
Can't go to work in person anymore? I believe I covered this a few days ago, but basically, BUMMER! In my case, at my job, we technically had the ability to work from home in the before days. The pieces were there, but they were covered in layers of dust, pushed under the bed, and never really talked about. Well, suddenly they were pulled out of storage, tuned up, accessorized, and thrown into the limelight. Ah, the joys of being an essential worker. :) And for my hubby, too -- he's also an essential worker. The world can't function without plumbing. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the work-from-home option, so his work life hasn't even changed.
Then it got a little more involved. Can't go out to eat anymore? That's OK, we go out to eat too often anyway! Since the house came with a kitchen and all, we should really spend more time using it. Or, if you're like us, just order take-out from your favorite local restaurants; they will need the business since they can't have customers dining in right now, and it's a win-win because we still don't have to cook. So the food won't be as hot as it would be if we were eating at the restaurant, and we'll have to clean up after ourselves. It's still kind of fun!
Can't have public gatherings anymore -- so, no going to church? That really didn't affect our congregation that much, because our Pastor doesn't let anything hold him down. That first Sunday, he was out on a small little trailer at the front of the parking lot with a Mr. Microphone (not really but same idea), while we sat in our cars facing him with our radios tuned to FM 97.9 or whatever it was. He doesn't stand on a small little trailer anymore -- he now has what we affectionately call the Lutheran Limo: a custom-built large stage with a railing on the back of a flatbed truck that's enclosed with plexiglass and has it's own heater. You can see it on FB Live every Sunday morning! It's also been seen at several local events (I know it went caroling at the local nursing homes for Christmas). My point being that we still have church every week, we just meet in the parking lot and stay in our vehicles. I bring the dog with. It's all good.
You get the point here. If you're reading this, you've lived through it, too. All the things we used to do, we were told we couldn't do anymore. First it was normal, daily things like going to school, going to work, going to church, going out to eat, going shopping. Then we were advised not to get together for family events -- I remember when we cancelled our Easter family gathering. I was honestly kind of glad because it was nice to have a break and just stay home for a change, and not have to party-clean the house.
But then, events started being cancelled. Which normally wouldn't affect me greatly either, because I'm pretty serious about my homebody status, but in the back of my mind -- OK, I can't lie, in the very front of my mind was 4 little pieces of cardstock that meant the world to me. This requires a little backstory.
The year was probably 1985. This story would be just ever-so delightful if I could tell you exactly when (it could have been 1986 for all I know) and exactly what it was like the very first time I heard and/or saw Take On Me. The truth is, I don't remember my first time. And it's not just because it's been so many years -- I just don't remember. It could have not even been Take On Me that got me hooked on my favorite Norwegian trio for all that I know, because I have a tendency to not like the most popular thing. I've always been more partial to Train of Thought and The Sun Always Shines on TV anyway, which everyone knows were both released after Take On Me. I mean, I had to have seen the Take On Me video because I watched MTV all the time back then. But was it The One That Hooked Me? I cannot tell a lie; I don't remember.
Short story long, a-ha has been my favorite band since, like, forever. If "forever" = probably 1985 (but definitely by 1986 because that was the year I got their second album, Scoundrel Days, for Christmas). Most unfortunately for me, their one big hit in the U.S. was Take On Me, and as far as most Americans are concerned, a-ha fell off the face of the planet after that. 😞😞😞 By the time their third album, Stay on These Roads, was released in 1988, I had moved on to high school and hair bands. I remember seeing Stay on These Roads on vinyl at Title Wave around about that time, and I wanted to buy it, but I had money earmarked for something else instead and couldn't afford both. So I put SOTR back.
Here I am, all out of chronological order already. Somewhere in there (hold on, gotta fire up Google for this one)...on September 24, 1986, to be specific, I went to my very first concert: a-ha at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium in St. Paul, Minnesota, on their 1986-87 World Tour. Hold on, this is all relevant, mostly. So that was my first concert. My sister took me. I don't remember much, other than we were on the upper level, right on the railing, and there was a lot and I mean a LOT of screaming going on, and when they played The Blue Sky a clip of a blue sky with white clouds rolling by was showing on the backdrop (how could anyone forget that, right!?). Less than a year later, my sister's high school graduation commencement ceremony was in that same auditorium, and in my mind, I was taken back to that magical night.
Oh, who am I kidding?! It's St. Paul, I was probably back in the Roy Wilkins Auditorium much sooner than that for some reason or another, and can't tell you how many times I've been there since. (But for sure I wasn't there in 2020.) But a-ha never returned.
My soliloquial love for them never really went away, though. It's just that, I had no idea they were still making music because there was no internet back then and I had no way of knowing what was going on across the pond. But then, around 2001, I found them again. This time I had the internet, and apparently some time on my hands (remember dial-up?) and apparently a little disposable income as well, because I caught myself up by buying all the CD's I was missing at once.
And this I do remember was in 2001, because two of the CD's have stickers on them that say "IMPORTED FROM HOLLAND 09/11/2001". Which just occurred to me probably means November 9th, not September 11th. Either way, the date is easy for me to remember.
So that's the wordy way of saying I started liking them when they first came out, lost touch and interest for a while, and got back into them again as an adult. I'm going to finish this up soon because it's taken me like three days to write this so far, and I need to work on that. I hate having "draft" blog entries sitting out there, waiting to be finished.
By the time I got into them again and realized they were still alive and well and putting out music and doing concerts, just not in this country, I also became sad because I really wanted to see them in concert again. Fast-forward to 2010 (or it could have been 2009; again, I don't remember these things exactly) and imagine my excitement when I found out a-ha were going to be playing in the United States again!
Now, I'm going to try really hard not to go off on a tangent here, but that was a rough time of my life. I can sum it up in two words: nursing school. Never in my life was there a better time for something good to happen, but I was too exhausted and worn down to appreciate anything. Nor could I spare the time and expense to travel to either New York or Los Angeles to see them. No, it was good news but the entirely wrong time. But then...they announced a show in...CHICAGO!! It wasn't St. Paul, or even Minneapolis, but it was the Midwest and it was right after the semester ended, and gosh-darn it, I was going to be there!!!
Short story long...I was. We all were -- the hubby and the boy and I. I could write for three days about that whole thing, but the point is, I thought I'd never see them in concert again, and I did see them in concert again. Very close. We were like three rows of people away from the stage. I have a ton of awesome pictures and I could even see the veins in Morten Harket's hands 😍. May 13, 2010: the Ending on a High Note tour. If you're friends with me on FB, you can see the pics here.
Since it was supposed to be their last tour, I thought that was the last time I'd get to see them. But...fast-forward to 2019 (or maybe it was 2018...) when I found out they were going to be touring the world again. "One last time." The world also includes the United States, right? Sometimes? Well, this time, nothing was going to hold me back! The hubby and I had long ago already decided that if they did ever come back to the U.S., we'd absolutely travel to New York or L.A. or Bumfuckegypt. Being an adult has it's perks sometimes. ;) And now, again thanks to the internet, and lots of practice, I'm actually kind of good at getting decent concert tickets. So we waited...and waited...and waited...and the day the tickets for their L.A. concert(s) went on sale, I bought tickets to not one but BOTH shows! (And then they opened the third show and I'm still kind of kicking myself for not getting tickets to that one as well...)
So there you go. I had the tickets. In time we made the plane reservations, the hotel reservations, secured the PTO, all that fun stuff. Nothing. NOTHING. Was going to stop me from seeing a-ha again.
And then 2020 said..."hold my beer".
And that is the tale of my saddest non-event of 2020.
2020 was going to be Concert Year for us. We also ended up getting tickets to see my other 2 favorite bands -- Motley Crue (with Def Leppard, Joan Jett, and Poison; none of which are my favorite bands but eh, whatever) and the Barenaked Ladies (minus Steven Page but eh). But of course, those ended up getting cancelled, sorry "rescheduled" as well.
So now I have tickets for two a-ha concerts that say they were in September 2020 but have been rescheduled to May 2021 but rumor has it will be postponed again to 2022. So stay tuned, kids! Who knows what's going to happen next. I also have two tickets to the Crue (etc.) concert, which I think was rescheduled for June? 2021. And the BNL concert was also rescheduled, but then Ticketmaster refunded our money, so I'm not sure what's going on there.
That's a good line to end this with, as it came up so often it 2020: "I'm not sure what's going on there."
I guess I can stop calling it my "new" job now, considering I've been a nurse at this job as long as I was a nurse at my old job now.
Yep, I obsess over numbers -- in particular, years -- more than I care to admit. It's hard to explain, because I don't like math, so it's not that kind of obsession. It's like remembering dates, and license plate numbers, and ages. For instance, it completely floors me that right now, our son is the same age that we were when we got married. When I was his age (considering his birthday is in about 2 weeks), I was actually pregnant with him. I can NOT imagine him being married and about to be a parent. There are kids that were in his graduating class that are married and/or parents, and that just floors me. Even though they are the same age I was when I got married and had a baby. Even my own mom, she was 21 when she had my sister. So when she was my son's age, she had an almost 2 year old.
Why is this weird to me? Is it a generational thing? Is it because my son is my son and in my mind he can't be old enough to be married and having kids yet, because in my mind I'm not old enough to have a child that's old enough to be married and having kids?
Anywho...yeah. Five years. Doesn't seem like very long, but some days (like today) it feels like it's been forever.
On that note, I'm signing off and going to bed because, guess what?! I have to work tomorrow. :D
I probably don’t need to say more, but writing this isn’t a matter of need. Unless I can find a way to prove that writing really does help my sanity...(note to self: add "look up research grant opportunities" to my to-do list).
Does the world really need yet another random account of 2020? I think it’s safe to say the consensus is that 2020 sucked. Seems like it sucked in record time, even, or maybe that's just because it's the end of the year and social media is inundated with post reminding everyone that -- guess what?! -- 2020 sucked.
Did it, though? Is it fair to place such a harsh label on the entire year, when it just doesn't seem possible that every single moment of every single day could have been so very horrible? Surely, it could have been worse. For many people, it was the worst year of their lives. But for many people, it wasn't. Is it a competition? Alright, alright; I'm getting too philosophical. Everyone understands perspective. One man's Worst Year Ever is another man's Greatest Year So Far.
For me, 2020 was somewhere in the middle. So, yes, the point of this post was for me to personally recap my own personal 2020 pros and cons. I really want to insert a big "DUHHHHHH" here but I'm trying to get my writing back up to speed, so I'll save the more honest free-flowing content for another time.
Because of who I am as a person*, my instinct is to point out that it wasn't such a baaaaaad year, at least not for me. I didn't lose my job or even get my hours cut back at all. I consider myself very fortunate in that respect. I know a lot of other people working in a lot of other industries, and many in the same industry, for whom this is not a shared experience. To be a nurse in 2020, not working in a COVID unit, and still having a FT job all year long, definitely does not suck. Also, my hubby not losing his job or having his hours cut back definitely didn't suck, either. I mean, he worked some short weeks, but that's typical and had nothing to do with pandemic restrictions. And since I'm on the topic of jobs, another tic in the non-sucking work-related happenings of 2020 is that the boy landed his first "big boy" job as well. That didn't happen until July, but he gets a break because he was busy finishing college most of the first half of the year. Insert Proud-Mom grin here.
*In this case: sometimes disagreeable, defiant, trying to see the "other side" of things. May be seen as selfish but really just trying to share another perspective in a socially-awkward fashion.
Speaking of COVID, 2020 did actually meet my personal threshold for sucking in February beginning one morning when I got one of those dreadful telephone calls. You know, the phone call from one of your parents at an odd time of the day that you happen to miss and it goes to voicemail, and when you listen to it your mom's voice sounds so desperate and the amount of information she's NOT giving you makes your heart literally freeze where it is and drop directly into your stomach? Well, as it turned out, my dad spent about half of February in the hospital. By some incredibly odd stroke of fate, it was the hospital next door to where I work, so win-win (for me being the #1 Supportive Daughter and for my parents to have almost unlimited access to the #1 Supportive Daughter a/k/a their personal healthcare advocate, medicalese translator, chauffeur, personal assistant, etc.). Now, I only associate COVID with this in jest, because it wasn't ever proven -- in fact, coronavirus was one of the tests that came back negative while he was there. HOWEVER, it wasn't a test specifically for the novel coronavirus, a/k/a SARS CoV-2, a/k/a COVID-19. The fact is that he was hospitalized the first time with an unidentified respiratory infection for which he had to spend a few days on a BiPAP just to keep his O2 sats above 85%, and even after that was on supplemental O2 the rest of the time he was there; he also had a fever, a dry cough (but a clear chest x-ray at first), and body aches. He said he felt like he had the flu. We had a hard time getting him to eat because he said nothing tasted good -- and this is a man who loves his food (this is how I know I'm definitely NOT adopted). In an effort to get him to eat, #1 Daughter even went and got him anything he wanted at any time he wanted. So YES, cheeseburgers and fries were on the menu. It was a mystery at the time, and I'm not even saying that it was COVID because who knows? He was in the hospital for almost a week that time. Then he was discharged home, and about 2 days later, was right back in the hospital again for the same damn thing: he couldn't catch his breath, and he had a fever and felt like crap. And this time, he also had new onset a-fib.
Now I feel like I'm charting. On my day off. UGH!
Long story short, the second round wasn't quite as bad, although he was diagnosed with pneumonia that time. He wasn't on the BiPAP but was on supplemental O2 and IV antibiotics. Thankfully he did improve and stayed out of the hospital the rest of the year. So yes, that all sucked. The outcome definitely did not suck, and for that I am very, very grateful. I'm also thankful, as I said before, that he was hospitalized at the hospital next to where I work instead of the VA, for so many reasons! Mainly selfish ones, because I could stop in and see him before work, and on my lunch break, and after work.
I was so afraid of this. All of this writing and I'm just finishing February. Maybe it's a good thing that most of the rest of the year is a blur. It's time for a non-sucking tale of 2020, anyway. Although the story of my dad being in the hospital is ultimately a non-sucking story, right? Since he's still alive and kicking. Thanks be to God!!
Another huge non-sucking tale of 2020 is that I now get to work from home much of the time. Once upon a time, I used to dream of finding a nurse job with "normal" hours (meaning Monday through Friday with no evenings, no overnights, no weekends, no holidays). Most of the time I dreamt of that when I was trying to stay awake on the NOC shift, especially on holiday weekends, ha ha ha. Don't get me wrong, I love my current job for so many other reasons, that is way down at the bottom of the list. Let me put it this way: I'm an introvert with social anxiety. Being able to work from home is like...it's like finding a new treatment option. It's like winning the lottery. Sometimes it feels a bit on the enabling side, but mostly it feels incredibly accommodating and empowering. I am even at the point now where I look forward to going back to the office to work as well, and can make the most of both situations. So for me, personally, I've learned a lot of new skills in 2020 that I didn't know I'd need in order to do my job. I think a lot of us did. But this is my blog, so you can read about everyone else in other outlets, tyvm.
I'm going to stop here and publish what I've got so far. I'm only about halfway through the year and not even close to the Suckiest Part of 2020 yet, but it's taken me two days to get this much out so far and I want to go do something else now. Reliving the extremes of 2020 for blogging's sake is a little taxing and I'm going to go unwind with some scrappy crocheting. Right now I'm into scrappy hats. I don't know yet if I'm going to try to sell them, donate them, abandon them (a la Art Abandonment), or shove them in a bag with the rest of the mittens, hats, and scarves that I intend to do something meaningful with someday and forget about them for another year or until they get in the way again.
See you next time. Which hopefully isn't in another 3 months.
