Well, if such a book exists, I haven't been able to find it!
Alright -- in all honesty, I haven't looked that hard for one, yet. But I'd be really surprised to find out one does exist. I know we're in less-traveled territory here, but it's definitely not uncharted, right? I know we're a little unusual (keep your comments to yourselves, peanut gallery) in having a teenager and planning for a newborn, but it's not so outrageous and completely unheard of that there haven't been any words of wisdom, advice, or even just personal stories out there to give us a little more insight as to what we might be getting ourselves into . . . right?
Not that I have a problem with winging it and figuring things out as we go along. I've kind of been doing that my whole life, heh heh heh. And it's also not that I have any particular worries about how this is going to pan out. DS is pretty well-adjusted, easy-going, and smart . . . I think we're doing a good job with him. I hope we do as good of a job with the next one!!
Operation Lactation Initiation continues to progress slowly. I've had some results, not near enough to sustain any kind of life, but enough (relatively speaking) to boost my confidence in making this happen. The electric pump isn't even so bad, now that I've had time to get used to it.
And so, we continue to wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . .
:)
ReplyDeleteTash, your adoption story makes me think about a woman I use to work with(I will call her Susan for this story). Susan had a family of her own- a husband and two teenage sons. They were a close knit family, then one day their lives totally changed forever. Her husband's sister (I will call her Jo) was dying of cancer(and husband had died years before). Jo and her husband had two kids of their own, (a girl and a boy)who were about to become orphans. Seeing that Susan's husband was the next of kin, they ended up adopting Jo's kids. Susan and family knew that Jo was dying, so it wasn't an unexpected thing that the girl and boy were going to eventually move in with them once their mother died.
ReplyDeleteSusan had prepared for the two knew arrivals for a long time. The boy was a teenager and the girl was only about 2 or 3, so Susan prepared space for them in their family home.
When the two children eventually moved in, Susan thought she was well prepared for the kids and could handle everything. However things happened that she wasn't prepared for and that was the emotional side effects for both families! Susan's own two sons weren't coping with the sudden changes. They were in their early teens, so mentally they were still only children and the boys were happy with their family the way it was until the new arrivals came along.
As for Jo's son, he was missing his mum like crazy and to move in with a new family was a huge change in his life. He may have socialized with his cousins at Christmas, etc, however he was now living with his aunt's family full time. On the other hand, I was told that the little girl couldn't remember her mum to the same extent as her brother could, so it was a little easier for her. However, the little girl did use to ask Susan where her mum was.
Over time, Susan realised that she wasn't coping as much as she thought she was. She tried so hard to be strong for the whole family, that she eventually had a breakdown. Her only hope to get her life back on track was to get counselling which she did. Over time Susan eventually got better and learnt how deal her new life. In fact all that she went through made herself and her family stronger and closer! All the boys got a long better and helped Susan raise the little girl!!! So it ended up being a happy ending. Susan said to me once, "If it was the other way around Pen, I'd know Jo would do the same deed for me, so I have to do this for her".
I really admire what you are doing Tash and I'm sure your son will be a great big brother. He is much older and I'm sure a lot more mature than Susan's sons. The thing is, what these two boys went through helped them to mature and learn to accept changes in life. Change can be a good thing!
Tash, you are also giving the new little boy a good start at life to be a member of close loving family. I wish you and your family the best of luck :)
Pen x