Or should that be, the beginning is in sight?! Trick question! Both are correct.
I laugh at myself when I look back at previous posts here (which is another great reason to start a blog, if you haven't already), specifically the one from 10/29/21 where I was going on and on and on about the "new normal" of life after COVID. It's so cute, in hindsight, to read about what was on my mind at that moment. Don't get me wrong, my COVID experience was horrible, but I haven't had much time to think about it since writing that entry.
I realized the other day that things taste somewhat normal (or what I remember they should taste like) again. I don't know when that happened. My sense of smell is pretty much back, too, although occasionally muted by nasal congestion and post-nasal drip. I had a random coughing attack the other night, which was probably acid reflux and not a respiratory concern. I think I have more headaches now than I did pre-COVID, but that could be for so many other reasons, too. Most notable is that I can have random symptoms like that and my first thought isn't, "I hope this isn't COVID!" 😷
My Dad will be discharged from the TCU tomorrow and coming home. Tomorrow will be 3.5 weeks since he was last home, and since the last time he saw my Mom. That's a long time -- nearly the entire month of November. It seems like the whole world has changed since then, but has it, really? The biggest change is that my Mom went through hip replacement surgery, but that's not really anything you'd pick up on if you didn't know. Other than there being a walker in the living room, and a random cane here and there, there aren't any outward signs in the house that she went through any of that. I did take some pictures to show my Dad when he gets back to try to make it more "real" for him (nothing graphic, just pics of my Mom's x-rays and pics of the incision when we first took the bandage off). I know if I was away from my spouse for almost a month, and he'd gone through something traumatic like that in our absence, I would want to see pics or something to get a better feel for what he had been through.
The biggest change will be that my Dad isn't supposed to drive anymore, but that's not even the end of the world. He hasn't been driving much, anyway, and my parents already have resources that they've been using for transportation to various places. It does make me sad, even though I've known for a while that this was coming. And while it makes me sad for my Dad (because I can't imagine a Car Guy's feelings when being told not to drive anymore...) it also brings me a huge wave of relief.
The other "change" is more of a formal acknowledgement, in that it's now been officially recognized that my Dad has dementia. But this isn't really a change that's going to drastically throw "normal" life out the window, either, because it's been "there" for so long that it's not news to me, or my Mom, or anyone who is close to my Dad. It hasn't suddenly worsened or anything, it's just finally been clinically evaluated. Which also brings me more relief, to have it acknowledged as a fact, and out in the open. I struggled with this muchly when my Dad was first hospitalized, about the guilt of knowing it was there but not actually doing anything about it, but I had a long talk one day with one of his doctors who tried to assure me that I shouldn't feel like I did anything wrong. That things like this happen so gradually, families adjust to the changes gradually as well. I wanted to yell -- that's all fine and good, but I work in freaking healthcare and should have known better. And she pointed out that there's nothing I could have done or can do now to change anything, anyway. She said I shouldn't feel bad that I "missed" anything, because I didn't. I don't know; it's still an emotionally sensitive topic for me, but I know she's right. I'm a daughter first and a nurse after that. It's not my job to diagnose everyone in my family (lol). I'll resolve this internal struggle, eventually, probably.
In the meantime, I have a few hours left of work and then I'm off for six whole days!! Crazy, I know. Tomorrow I'm picking up my Dad in the late morning and bringing him back home, and helping him get settled back in, and then tomorrow evening we have the final walk-through at the new place. Oh my gosh, you guys, tomorrow night I get to sleep in my own bed again! I can't wait! Then Wednesday afternoon is our closing, and after that we'll go to the new place to do some measuring etc. and start moving some things in. Thursday, Turkey Day, we'll move some stuff over in the morning, and then in the afternoon bring food in and have Turkey Day dinner at my parents' house. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday -- and probably most of the otherwise-unaccounted-for moments for the foreseeable future -- will be cleaning, painting, and moving, organizing, unpacking, lather, rinse, repeat.
Alright, I have to get back to work now. TTFN and thanks for reading!
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