Insert witty title here.

 So many things, I don't even know where to start!

I'm an emotional wreck lately.  I'm also almost out of phentermine so have been cutting my dose back to make it last longer, I wonder if that has anything to do with it?  I have to see my doctor before she'll renew my prescription, and every time I think of that, it's a time like right now when I can't exactly call and make an appointment because it's Saturday afternoon and their office is closed.  Hold on, I'm going to set a reminder on my phone for Monday at 8am so I remember to call and make that appointment. BRB

There. That's done.  Ok, so, yeah.  I'm spiraling downward again, and I can blame it on a few different things:

1. My birthday is on Friday.  Yay!  I don't want to be "older" anymore.  I know, I know; "it's better than the alternative," and honestly I'm not really one of those people who is all anti-birthday (because honestly I'm one of those people who is all about having a day about ME, ha ha ha).  I just get emotional thinking about everyone getting older.  Mostly my parents.

But on a good note, our anniversary is also on Friday!  Yep, that's right, kids; in case you didn't already know, my hubby and I share the same birthday (same year, too) and we got married on that day, on our 22nd birthdays.  This isn't just any old anniversary, though; this year will be our 25th anniversary!  WOO-HOO!!  Take that, all you losers who said we wouldn't make it.  

Actually, I'm only aware of one loser who said we wouldn't make it: my hubby's ex-girlfriend.  😂  If there were others who shared that sentiment, I don't know who they were, and I don't really care anymore because, like I said...twenty-five years, bitches.  

2. The one-year anniversary of Luger's death is next Saturday.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!  Max is doing well but he turned 9 at the beginning of the summer and is obviously not a young dog anymore.  That makes me sad.

Alright. I'll quit making a list.  I'm just frustrated lately.  It seems like every time we find a house we like, the sellers accept an offer on it literally hours before we are scheduled to see it.  I know I've written about this before, and it's only happened one more time since then, but it is so very heart-breaking.  There was this house that's been on my list since the beginning of the summer that we finally decided to go look at, and I was looking forward to it but was just waiting all day for that message to come through saying our showing was cancelled.  I didn't see any messages, so I left work "on time" (which is another story) and got home and one of the first things I said to my hubby was some joke along the lines of how funny it was that we didn't get a message from our realtor yet saying the showing was cancelled.

The hubby just looked at me and didn't laugh or smile and said, "Didn't you get his message?"

I was like -- "ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?!?" only I said the real "f" word, because I'm super classy like that 😇.  Checked my phone and, sure enough, there was the message that came through at about 1:30pm that day saying that a contingent offer had been accepted on the house the day prior BUT we were still welcome to tour it in case the contingency stipulation fell through.  So we went ahead and toured it anyway, which was painful because I liked the place more than I thought I would and more than I wanted to given that it's unlikely we'll get a chance to make an offer.

It just seems like everything that comes up for sale lately is either 100-200k more than we want to pay, or the house needs too much work.  And it's frustrating because when I look at places that have sold in the last 6-12 months, there are places that meet the Trifecta of Happiness but we weren't looking at that time.  I don't understand it.  Even the place we looked at this week...on the county website, it is appraised at HALF of what they are asking for it.  Where do people come up with these asking prices?!?  Alright, I'll quit now. We'll find our place.  I have faith! 

Another frustration is work.  I don't know what to do about it. Our office is moving to a new building about 10-15 minutes farther away from where we currently are, and I have this fear that I'm going to hate the drive.  I know it's only 15 minutes farther, but that's an extra 30 minutes of my day in the car.  And we're planning on moving soon, most likely farther away from the cities, which will add even more time to my commute.  I still get to work from home about half the time (depending on the week), but who knows how long that will last.  I'm trying not to worry too much about it until there's something to worry about, but I do need to be prepared.  The big move is less than a month away now.  I love my job!  To be honest, I have looked at other options, like remote jobs, but I don't think I could leave my job.  I love my patients.  I enjoy working with the providers I work with.  I feel like this is where I belong, making connections with real people whom I get to see in person occasionally and focusing on one specialty.  I don't know; we'll see.  I will know if/when the time is right, and it's not.  It's tough right now because our department is short-staffed and some of our providers who have been there from the beginning have recently left or retired....I won't go into all the details but it's just a very busy time regardless of COVID and we are all feeling it. And it's not going to be over for a while.  But that's the nature of nursing, isn't it?!

Sigh.

There have been some really good things going on, too, and for those I am incredibly grateful!

I got to spend a couple of days with my in-laws -- I know you're thinking that should go under the "frustrating" part, ha ha, but it was actually a really fun time.  Our niece (my hubby's brother's daughter) is getting married in October so we aunts on this branch of the family tree had a shower for her earlier this month, and I helped my sister-in-laws (or should that be sisters-in-law?) with the shower.  If you really know me, you know that I'm super shy and not the kind of person to jump in and say, Yes! I will help plan a party! because I'm just not a party-planning kind of person. So I surprised even myself when I did just that.  Well, my SIL sent out an email asking for help picking up some of the items and I offered to help set up etc. as well. I'm so glad I did! It was nice to just spend some time with them (my husband's sisters).  I have a horrible relationship with my own sister, so maybe part of that was just craving a sisterly relationship.  Regardless, it was a highlight for me, and the shower turned out wonderfully, and I wish I could spend more time with my husband's sisters and am so thankful that they treat me like one of the family.  

We got the camper back!  This actually happened the day of the bridal shower, which was a Saturday. I was bummed because I wanted to go with to pick it up -- we were going to make a camping trip out of it!  Alas, that did not happen.  The hubby ended up getting up at the butt-crack of dawn and driving solo across the entire state of Wisconsin in order to get to the shop before they closed at noon (and not be the guy who rolls in at 11:58am).  He waffled about whether to drive back the same day, or get a campsite for the night, and ultimately decided to come back the same day.  It's about a 5.5 hour drive one-way, for perspective, but he got it done and we got the camper back, and (since I know you're dying to know this!) he stopped at the nearest dumping station ASAP and emptied the black and grey tanks and amazingly, no permanent damage has been done!  WHEW.  So relieved! You don't even want to know what I was imagining...

Anywho, so since we got the camper back just about 11 days before our vacation to the Black Hills, the hubby was able to call and cancel our hotel reservations and re-make campground reservations instead.  Not the same campground reservations as we'd originally had, but that didn't matter; what did matter is that we were going to be camping in the Black Hills and all was again right with the world! 

We just got back from that trip earlier this week. It was amazing!  Although, I'm not going to say "I told you so!" but when the hubby said we were going to drive from home to Hill City in one day, even though I told him that my Dad would always make it a 2-day trip when we went out there... well, I did try a couple of times to convince him otherwise.  However, he made an excellent point: we only had 5 days for our trip.  Besides, the last time I was there was 30 years ago, so maybe I was just remembering it differently.  And, unlike when we drove out there when I was a kid, there are TWO drivers, so we could share the driving and it wouldn't be so bad, right?

We made it in one day.  It was a long day, and we ended up leaving a day earlier than we'd planned because we didn't want to spend the last day driving 12 hours again, but we still had a great time and did all the things we wanted to do this time.  :)  Like I said above, my family used to go out there every year when I was little, but I hadn't been there in about 30 years.  In a way, it felt like I was going home after a very long absence.  I was kind of leery of taking this trip at first, kind of afraid that the hubby wouldn't like it after all the hype from my parents (who absolutely LOVE the Black Hills) and afraid that it wouldn't be as cool now as it was in my memories.  But I needn't have worried.  He enjoyed it very much, and I found it all -- the history, the scenery, and especially the wildlife -- even more interesting than I ever did as a kid.  Of course, I found the touristy crap even more hokey, too... but the scenery more than made up for that.  I was kind of sad that there were no Indians with horses standing on the corner of the touristy little Wild West towns; I don't know if they're not there anymore because tourist season is winding down, or because of COVID, or for liability reasons, or what, but I did love going through those towns and seeing the horses and the hokey little horse-drawn wagons pulling tourists down the street, when I was little.

ANYWAY...so we got back from that, with no major issues with the camper!  There are always minor issues with the camper.  There is some kind of black thin fabric underneath it, I don't know what it's purpose is, but it has been falling off probably since the first trip out.  We stopped at one gas station and a whole big section of this fabric was literally hanging on by a thread under the camper.  Also, some of the trim around one of the wheel wells came off.  Just driving it.  But nothing major.  When we bought our camper, even the salesperson said that this brand is known for churning these campers out as quickly as possible and cutting corners in order to do so, so honestly, we know they're not the highest quality out there.  "You get what you pay for," right?  And we got a great deal on this camper.  :) I love our camper, but it's got quality issues.  Little, annoying things so far *knock on wood*.  But it doesn't leak and it pulls straight, and it's fun.  We're getting our money's worth out of it, and we know it's not going to last forever, and we know it's not going to be our last camper.  But we had to upgrade from the Shasta Friendship 16, because we're old (haha) and enjoy the finer things in life, such as real mattresses and indoor plumbing.  

We're going on another vacation this week.  So weird, we just got back and now we're going again, and it's not even work-related!  We're not camping this time, bummer.  We're flying to Memphis for the long weekend (and to celebrate our birthaversaries).  Not sure what we'll do there, other than tour Graceland.  I guess we'll see!  I'm not looking forward to flying at all.  Airplanes are too germy, and I felt that way even before COVID.  After we went to Hawaii, I was so sick afterward -- I had strep and bronchitis and if you know me and my man-cold self, I felt like I was on my deathbed.  From being in a stupid germy tin can for 12 hours.  Ever since then, being in airplanes gives me the heebie-jeebies, imagining all that recirculated (GERMY!) air going around and around for hours and hours.  At least this time, we'll have masks.  

The other rotten thing that's happened lately that I really don't want to talk about yet because I WILL start to cry is that my BFF moved to the other side of the country.  I've known for a few years that this was coming, eventually, but it was one of those things that just suddenly hit me at once because I was like, it's not like she's dropping off the face of the planet and I'll never get to talk to her again; we mostly text and message each other anyway (because I don't do phone calls), so it'll still be like that, we'll just be farther away and won't be able to have spontaneous trips to Hobby Lobby or the casino.  But now that it's actually happened, I don't want to talk about it right now. 

On that note, oh! One other good thing that's happened lately. I've been losing weight :D again :D :D and am almost back down under 200!  I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday...which is, when? Weren't you paying attention?? I've only mentioned it like twice already!!  UGH.  It's like no one even reads anything I write.  That's OK, I write for myself more than anything, anyway.  I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday, and it's going to be close but I don't think I'll make it.  But I think it's a noticeable difference since the beginning of the year, and even if other people don't notice it, clothes that were once snug on me are now loose-fitting, and I can see parts of my kneecaps that used to be encased in fatty-fat-fat, and my elbows have points again, and my shoes are almost too big again, and I think I'm down at least one chin.  I don't know for sure how much I've lost because my scale at home is a piece of crap and isn't very accurate, but by the scale at work I've lost 20 pounds since the beginning of summer.  Go, me!  I'm not done yet, I have a lot more to lose.  And this time I am going to keep it off!!

Alright, that's all I have for now.  TTYL!