...and letting God. (or "The Renaissance Project")

Well...it's been almost exactly three years since I last updated this blog. And what a busy three years it's been! 

Since I last wrote in here, the boy graduated from high school and is now in his junior year of college.  That whole thing has gone much better than I'd anticipated feared.  He's thriving in his new environment: doing well in his classes (even made the Dean's List last year!) and transitioning well.  He stayed in the dorms for the first two years, but last June he moved into a rental duplex with five of his new friends.  He says he has no plans whatsoever to return to living in the little rural town we call home, because there's nothing to do here.

I'm adjusting. 

I mean, this is what we want for our children, right?  We want them to grow up and become responsible young adults and find their grooves and make their marks in the world.  And that's what he's doing.  We don't want them living in our houses for the rest of their lives.  I knew the transition wouldn't be easy.  I spent the whole summer before his freshman year prone to seemingly unprovoked crying spells.  There is just so much out there to worry about... the news is always full of stories about college kids dying or getting seriously injured.  No one is more acutely aware of this than the mother of a new college freshman.  Especially if she never had that college experience herself. 

Actually, I really am a lot better now than I was at first.  This actually does kind of tie in to the whole adoption thing, because I've had to admit that my role as a parent has changed.  "Well, duh," I hear you say, "a parent's role is always changing."  Yeah, I know; you're right.  Ready or not, here it is. 

Since I brought up the adoption topic...

I'm adjusting to that, as well.  "That" being the fact that I was so sure, so absolutely definitely positive that we were doing the right thing and that it was our destiny to become parents again and raise another child.  So. Very. Sure.  I remember the day I started saying "When we adopt" instead of "If we adopt"; it was glorious!  It was guaranteed.  It was going to happen.  We had dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's, and jumped through all the hoops, and we were just waiting on God to send our birthmom our way. 

I haven't talked about this much in real life, yet.  I wasn't ready to talk about it much in real life, yet.  But it's been a long three years and ready or not...

I bought a Prayer Journal a few weeks ago.  I haven't written in it yet.  I haven't kept a written journal since the 1990's.   At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I like the feedback I get from writing in a blog that other people can read at their leisure.  Maybe my thoughts and feelings and experiences can help others -- or, if nothing else, provide some cheap amusement for a while. 

A few days ago while driving home from work, the idea of "re-using" this blog as my prayer journal came to mind and sounded like the best thing since rearview mirrors.  I'd like a "place" to be able to document not just my insights and thoughts and feelings, but also my faith journey.  ("If it's not documented, it didn't happen" was a concept I fully subscribed to LONG before the first day of nursing school!!)

So, that's the scoop.  That's why I'm writing in here again.  Because I need to remember to "Let go and let God" in so many other aspects of my life, I'm not even going to change the name.

See ya next time!