I've been spending my WFH lunch hour computer time working on computer stuff for church lately. Sorry not sorry. I do miss writing, so I am actually a little sorry because I do need to journal occasionally for my own sanity. Or so I've been telling myself for the last 40 years.
But I'm not sorry because doing computer stuff for church is playing on the computer for the Lord, thankyouverymuch. I never did fit in very well with any of the other official committees. I do a lot of Bible Studies (which I also enjoy very much) but even some of those get challenging after a while. But this? Besides the fact that we have called ourselves the Awesome Committee? This does not feel like "work" at all.
I was trying to explain to my Mom what I do, keeping in mind that my Mom hasn't actually gone to a real church service since...probably since I was in elementary school and begged to go to Sunday School, so she actually walked me to the Lutheran church two blocks away a few times (or maybe more, I don't remember more than a few times, though). I know she does watch some church services on TV now, though, so I tried explaining that, you know how churches have big screens up now on which they show the lyrics to songs instead of having everyone use hymnals? Or the words to responsorial prayers instead of everyone having to have a bulletin from which to read along? Kind of like a slide show to go along with the service? I do that. I make the slide shows and then I run the presentation during the service to keep the slide show moving along. Because it doesn't run automatically. And NO, it's NOT PowerPoint. It's a way more intensive program than that. It does so many more things and I've only tapped the surface of what it can do!
Why do I keep getting plopped in front of programs that people are already using and then getting tasked with figuring out how to use them better? I'm a nurse, not a computer programmer!
I'm only half complaining. Everyone has their back-up career, right? Maybe not a career-career, but I guess this would be mine.
Anyway...so that's what I've been doing when I'm not writing in here. I've been watching video tutorials and reading articles and posts on user forums and trying to learn how to use said program better. And having some creative fun in the process, too. Win-win-win!
Sometimes I feel like sitting down and writing, just to get it off my chest, what I would say to my sister if I could say something to her that she'd hear. But then I actually thought about it, and I thought -- I don't know what I'd say to her. I think one of the last things I said to her was that I didn't have anything to say to her, lol. And I think that's still actually correct. Because I don't have anything in particular I want to say to her -- but I would dearly love to hear what she has to say for herself. I'd want to hear that before I'd decide what I wanted to say. (Unfortunately, I probably wouldn't think about what I wanted to say before I said it, though. So it's probably best that this is probably going to stay a hypothetical scenario.)
My Mom has given up on getting in contact with her. Again. She does this every so often. She was sending her cards for her birthday and anniversary and sometimes just because, and occasionally trying to call her and leaving voicemail messages for her. As she does. And then she gets annoyed that she makes all this effort for nothing and decides she's done and she's never going to try to get in touch with her again. For a while, and then she tries again. I don't even point out that I can clearly see the cycle -- Hell, I lived the cycle and might even still be living it now except the 'I'm not going to try contacting her' cycle has gone on for a very long time this time for me, if that's the case! Anyhoo. The last I heard, she was giving up this time because my sister allegedly told my nephew (her son) that she intended to call my Mom but just hadn't yet. IDK. Like I said, I've tagged out. I guess the only thing I would want to hear at this point, the only thing that really pisses me off, is why she didn't come visit my Dad when he was in the nursing home or when he was on hospice. ALLEGEDLY (and I say this because it's obviously all hearsay to me) she told her husband that she was having a hard time after my Dad died because she didn't get to see him. Which, I have no idea why she told her husband she didn't get to see him, because she was notified many times in may ways by many people about what was going on when it was going on. So my anger comes from the fact that she's probably lying (and I know that's speculation on my part) to her husband about what really happened. She's probably saying that we wouldn't let her come down to see him. Which isn't true. I would have let her see him. For him. Not for her.
Whatever.
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