In like a lion and out like a lamb, or something like that.

That's what "they" say about the weather in March, I guess.  If it comes in like a lion, it should go out like a lamb, and vice versa. 

*chortles in Midwestern*

It's funny, the other day I heard someone on social media talking about how strong they are; for context, they were talking about some emotionally heavy crap that they are going through right now, and I think it was for their own benefit more than anything that they followed it up by saying that they're strong and can get through whatever life decides to throw at them.  Don't worry about me, I'm strong, I'll be fine -- that kind of thing.

My first thought was: how sad.  Not because of what they were going through, but how sad that they think they have to be strong. Is that supposed to be a boast?  A compliment?  Yay, you didn't show your true emotions! What a good person you are!!  

I'm trying to remember if anyone tried to comfort me in the initial sorrow of losing my Dad by telling me I was strong, or that I had to be strong, or anything along those lines.  I'm sure someone did, because it's one of those things people say when they don't know what else to say.  But if they did, I don't remember who or when. Which is just as well, because being "strong" was the very last thing I was trying to be.  

I'm not saying I wasn't trying not to break down in public.  I'm not saying I still don't have times when I need to try not to break down in public.  (I do.  A lot!!)   I'm only human. I have emotions. Strong emotions.  Not just in this case, but in many cases.  If that's a sign of being weak, then yes, I am weak.  

But most of what made me sad for this person is that they didn't realize that they don't have to "be strong". That little bit of knowledge is what got me through years and years of watching my Dad deteriorate, sitting with him in his final days, watching him take his last breath, and now trying to make sense of living life without him.  I am not strong, but my God is. I can fall apart, and He will pick up the pieces.  I don't need to make sense of things or figure anything out, because He's got the plan.  I don't worry about what might happen next because I know God is in control.

I used to read words like that and think Yeah, that's nice, blah blah blah.  But I actually feel those words now.  I feel them deep down in my soul, in ways I cannot express in writing.  

This isn't about my sister (because she's blocked me on most forms of social media), but it makes me sad for her, too.  For pretty much the same reason.  Aaaaaand, I can't get into that right now because lunch break is over and it's time to get back to work. 

Toodles, for now...