Unfortunately, all of those essays (excluding the present) have been exclusively written in my head. So the "beautiful, eloquent, insightful and informative" may be a bit of a stretch. It's more like bits and pieces of occasional wonder and borderline brilliance that pops into my mind and ruminates from time to time, with the best chunks generally hitting me at the most opportune times (she says, the sarcasm so thick and tender you could cut it with a butter knife), like when I'm driving home from work, or trying to fall asleep.
It's hard to remember everything a person needs to remember.
So, here we are again. I started this entry a few days ago and finally now have the time to sit and write again. And now that I have the time to write, do you think I can come up with anything beautiful, eloquent, insightful or informative?
*insert sound of crickets chirping*
Nope. I got nothin'. All I've got on my mind is that my nose is stuffed up, my back is still a little sore, my hubby's out of town 😖, that face looks too much like Constipation so I'll try this one 😭, it's only Thursday and I don't know what to have for supper so I'll probably just skip it. I know it's not good to skip supper. But I really, it's just me here tonight. I honestly just looked to see if DoorDash delivers here (that's a big negatory, good buddy, which I already knew but maybe somehow hoped that had changed in the six months since I checked last). We don't have much here that's already put together, nothing I feel like eating, anyway. I don't feel like actually driving anywhere to get anything or the ingredients to make anything, so, using my amazing powers of deduction, I'll probably pop a bag of microwave popcorn in a bit and call it good. Do as I say and not as I do, kids. Nurses make bad patients and not the best examples, either.
In other news, we almost had a mini-replay of last year's fiasco a few weeks ago. My Dad made it almost an entire year without being in the hospital, yay! But then he ended up with pneumonia and a bladder infection and got himself a few days' stay at the nearest (to my parents' house) acute care facility. Which is a very nice facility, though. Better than the VA. YES I SAID IT. A lot closer, too. At least it's in the same city where they live, which made my job as chauffeur a lot easier. It's the same hospital where my Mom was for her hip surgery last year. That's where the similarities to last year's fiasco ended. My Mom decided not to get herself admitted to any hospitals again (thanks, Mom!). It was still an exhausting week, and I don't know how I managed last year. But I'm not going to ruminate on that right now. The long-story-short version is that my Dad was admitted for IV antibiotics for a few days then discharged home on a few days of PO antibiotics, and now he's getting some in-home PT and OT again. He had a horrible time in the hospital. Not physically. Not clinically.
Dementia sucks. That's all I feel up to saying about it right now. I could say so much more to make my point, but it honestly just makes me sad, and I don't want to be sad right now. It's already taking every bit of willpower I have not to eat the rest of the Halloween candy at once tonight, I certainly do not need any emotional upset pushing me in the wrong direction! Although, having him back home in a familiar environment and feeling physically better has made a world of difference. Mostly.
However, on the day he was discharged and got back home, I stayed late at my parents' house to make sure everything was going to be OK, that he was going to be able to get up out of his chair by himself or with minimal assistance from my mom. I was fully prepared to spend the night there if I needed to. We were all overtired and at one point, we were trying to get my Dad comfortably settled into his chair but he wasn't listening very well when we were asking him to stand up, and he reached his arms out for me to pull him up by his arms which I know damn good and well I shouldn't do and under any other cirucmstances I would NOT have done, but we were all tired and crabby and just wanted to get him settled so I did it. I grabbed his arms and pulled to help him stand up.
And the next day my back hurt sooooooo bad. I'm pretty sure that's what did it. Don't yell at me, I already admitted that I know better, and I suffered plenty for it, and I will never ever ever do that again, even if I'm tired and impatient. Because back pain sucks, too. I felt like I needed that walker more than he did for the last week! But I'm good now. Mostly.
We're almost ready to bring the horses home!!! My awesome hubby built lean-to's on three sides of the pole barn and built stalls for them, and we have fence posts up where the pasture will be, we just need to put up the wire and gate, and then the horses can come home! I verified this week that our friend who offered to let us use their trailer earlier this summer will still let us use it, and that is a GO, so...ahhhh! I'm so nervous and excited. Nervous because Nicker hasn't been trailered in 18 years and Shasta hasn't been trailered in about 16 years. I hope they do alright! I figure I'll take them one at a time, and of course we'll take the back roads and go nice and slow. Excited because I will finally have my girls here with me again where I can see them every day and take care of them myself and brush them and pet them and talk to them and actually feel like a real horse owner again. I hope they like it here. It's quieter, farther from the busy road, but there are more trees. It's less farm-like. I miss my girls. It's been a long year.
Can you believe we've lived here almost a year already?!
Alright, on that note, I'm running out of motivation to write. Actually, that's not entirely the truth. Most of the truth is that I'm sitting at my desk in my office writing this, and I worked from home today, so I've been sitting at my desk in my office working at this computer for nearly 11 hours today. I need to peel my butt out of this chair and go sit somewhere else for the rest of the day. Maybe eat some popcorn or something. TTFN!
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