We're closing in on 23 months. So take that, elephants.
Had another "almost" moment, sort of, last week. Our case worker sent out an email about an expectant mom with a history of substance abuse looking to set up an adoption plan for the baby that was expected to be born that very night. It was an interesting few days, even though the birth mom ended up choosing another family. DH and I both did some extensive research and had some conversations about things that don't tend to just come up in regular conversations.
I may have mentioned this before, but two years ago when we were in the "getting ready to wait" stage of the adoption process, we were asked to specify whether or not we'd be open to a whole list of potential "birthmom situations". These situations can be anything from prenatal exposure to cigarettes, alcohol, medications, illegal drugs, and domestic abuse, to a family history of genetic disorders, to known fetal anomalies, to absolutely no known history whatsoever. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about it, even now. I mean, when I was pregnant with DS, there was no disclaimer that I would only take him home if he was perfect. I just felt awkward filling out that checklist, and those awkward feelings come back whenever we get a notification about a birthmom situation. I completely understand, though, why the workers put those feelers out beforehand. Some of the situations can have significant impacts on a family, emotionally and physically speaking. In case you're wondering, we indicated that we'd consider most of the items on that original checklist on a case-by-case basis. The "awkward" part comes from being given the option to make that choice, if that makes sense. It's like being forced to be judgemental. My point with all this rambling is that it's not a comfortable feeling to have to figure out where you'd draw the line. My gut feeling is that if there is a child out there that needs a stable home and loving family, I want to do whatever I can to help. I don't know what God's plan is for me, for our family. I don't want to miss out on His plan for us by saying we're not willing to parent a child with xyz because that might be exactly what He wants us to do.
I know this is kind of all over the place, but that's how my thoughts are right now. :) Long story short, it was a good reminder and practice of just putting everything in God's hands and accepting whatever comes about. In this case, we weren't meant to be matched. I have been praying for the baby and the families involved in this situation.
So...almost two years now. It was odd, at first, but now I've lost count of how many people I know (either in real life or via FB) who have had babies in that time frame. Families who weren't even pregnant or trying to conceive when we went "active" on the waiting list have since given birth and now have infants and toddlers. That was weird, at first, and made me more than a little jealous. But that's life, so I learned to deal with it and move on. However, recently I found out that one of these same families is now expecting their second child since we've been playing the waiting game, and that suddenly makes it seem like we've been waiting for.ev.er. And is making me more than a little jealous, again. But I'll get over it; I always do. Because that's how I roll. And because one day it will be our turn, again...
On that note, I'll sign off...for now!
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