I seemed to be lacking in the so-called "Christmas Spirit" this year, and I'm not exactly sure why. I barely decorated the house...put our little Charlie-Brown tree in the window (and I can't even take credit for that, because I delegated that task to DS), taped the Christmas cards to the wall as they arrived, and got the red shiny tablecloth out on Christmas Eve. I didn't even put any lights up in the windows this year, which is always my favorite part of decorating. I guess it's not so bad, though...when I decide it's time to un-decorate, I have about five minutes' worth of deconstruction to do. And I will probably delegate that to DS, because I don't like going into the cave-like basement. Happy Holidays!!! :)
In adoption news...nothing new to report. Absolutely, positively, NOTHING. I don't even have any updates from our case worker, because she's been out on maternity leave since the beginning of November. (The irony of having an adoption case worker who is out on maternity leave has not escaped me.) There is someone taking her place, of course, but I haven't contacted that person because I'm sure they're very busy, doing their own job and trying to cover for our worker as well.
I don't know if it's just because it's a new year, which makes me feel like wiping the old one off the books and gives me a new sense of hope in "starting new", but I feel like this is going to be a good year. For one thing, it's the Chinese Year of the Horse. Horses are my favorite animals; thus, I'm taking that as a sign. (On a side note, DH, DS and I were all born in Years of the Tiger, or how ever that should be worded.) It would be just perfect if our next child was born in the Year of the Horse. The next Tiger year is 2022, so, yeah...
Another thing is, I've had this undeniable urge to go baby furniture shopping lately. I mean, more than usual. :) I'll admit, at first I was all gung-ho for it, and couldn't wait to go pick out cribs and bedding and car seats and all that. But then, the novelty faded and so did the urge to shop. But suddenly, it's picked up again. I want to get the room fixed up. I would suppose this is almost like nesting, but I'm only speculating because I never had the nesting instinct before I birthed DS. Well, if I did, it was probably buried in the fact that we moved to a new house two weeks before he was born!
But the one big thing that stuck out for me, is that one morning when I was drifting off to sleep (remember, I work mostly overnights...), I was bouncing around in that state of semi-consciousness, where your rambling thoughts start to meld with your dreamy-time thoughts and disorientation takes over before pulling you away to solemn slumber, when suddenly and vividly, a series of numbers popped into my head. I could see them, larger than life, and heard my inner voice repeating them over and over. I tried to dismiss it as a dreamy-time thing at first, but it wouldn't go away. All I could hear was my internal voice repeating the set of numbers, over and over. I was shocked back into awakedness, it was so vivid and urgent; and when I was fully conscious, it was clear that the numbers could easily be a date and time. I wrote them down (well, typed them into a note on my smartphone, which is the technologically-advanced equivalent of writing things down for me) and as soon as I had done so, the sense of urgency passed and I was able to get back to sleep quickly.
I'm not going to share what those numbers were, though. Sorry! I just don't want to obsess over it. (Too late!!!) I mean, and I know I'm going out on a limb here, but I could be overreacting. :) It was just so in-my-face, and I've been praying for a sign or something, and I don't want to assume that was a sign but, yeah. I'll quit rambling now.
My point being, I have a good feeling about this year. Maybe this will be the year our birthmother needs us. I can only continue to hope and pray, and ask our friends and other loved ones to do the same!
In other news...nothing much to report there, either. I'm so tired of winter already that I'm not even going to talk about how our high temperature on Monday is supposed to be in the negative double digits (Fahrenheit), or how it was 20ºF this morning when we got up and that actually felt WARM. I've been working a lot, DH has been working a lot, DS is doing well in school and band and choir and everything else in which he's involved. Speaking of DS, he turns 16 in a week from Monday. Can you believe that craziness?! I'm not old enough to have a 16-year-old. ;) He's a busy sophomore, that's for sure. And tall!! The child is 6ft 2in now, and still has some growing to do. DH is just a smidge under 6 feet tall and I'm only 5ft 5in. I never really considered myself "short"...my Mom and sister are both around 5ft 3in'ish, so compared to them I was The Tall One...so this is a new experience for me. :)
Well, I wish I had more to share right now, but I just don't. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers...one of these days we'll get that call, I just know it!!!
I just know it, too, Tash! Love you!
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