Insert witty title here.

 So many things, I don't even know where to start!

I'm an emotional wreck lately.  I'm also almost out of phentermine so have been cutting my dose back to make it last longer, I wonder if that has anything to do with it?  I have to see my doctor before she'll renew my prescription, and every time I think of that, it's a time like right now when I can't exactly call and make an appointment because it's Saturday afternoon and their office is closed.  Hold on, I'm going to set a reminder on my phone for Monday at 8am so I remember to call and make that appointment. BRB

There. That's done.  Ok, so, yeah.  I'm spiraling downward again, and I can blame it on a few different things:

1. My birthday is on Friday.  Yay!  I don't want to be "older" anymore.  I know, I know; "it's better than the alternative," and honestly I'm not really one of those people who is all anti-birthday (because honestly I'm one of those people who is all about having a day about ME, ha ha ha).  I just get emotional thinking about everyone getting older.  Mostly my parents.

But on a good note, our anniversary is also on Friday!  Yep, that's right, kids; in case you didn't already know, my hubby and I share the same birthday (same year, too) and we got married on that day, on our 22nd birthdays.  This isn't just any old anniversary, though; this year will be our 25th anniversary!  WOO-HOO!!  Take that, all you losers who said we wouldn't make it.  

Actually, I'm only aware of one loser who said we wouldn't make it: my hubby's ex-girlfriend.  😂  If there were others who shared that sentiment, I don't know who they were, and I don't really care anymore because, like I said...twenty-five years, bitches.  

2. The one-year anniversary of Luger's death is next Saturday.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!  Max is doing well but he turned 9 at the beginning of the summer and is obviously not a young dog anymore.  That makes me sad.

Alright. I'll quit making a list.  I'm just frustrated lately.  It seems like every time we find a house we like, the sellers accept an offer on it literally hours before we are scheduled to see it.  I know I've written about this before, and it's only happened one more time since then, but it is so very heart-breaking.  There was this house that's been on my list since the beginning of the summer that we finally decided to go look at, and I was looking forward to it but was just waiting all day for that message to come through saying our showing was cancelled.  I didn't see any messages, so I left work "on time" (which is another story) and got home and one of the first things I said to my hubby was some joke along the lines of how funny it was that we didn't get a message from our realtor yet saying the showing was cancelled.

The hubby just looked at me and didn't laugh or smile and said, "Didn't you get his message?"

I was like -- "ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?!?" only I said the real "f" word, because I'm super classy like that 😇.  Checked my phone and, sure enough, there was the message that came through at about 1:30pm that day saying that a contingent offer had been accepted on the house the day prior BUT we were still welcome to tour it in case the contingency stipulation fell through.  So we went ahead and toured it anyway, which was painful because I liked the place more than I thought I would and more than I wanted to given that it's unlikely we'll get a chance to make an offer.

It just seems like everything that comes up for sale lately is either 100-200k more than we want to pay, or the house needs too much work.  And it's frustrating because when I look at places that have sold in the last 6-12 months, there are places that meet the Trifecta of Happiness but we weren't looking at that time.  I don't understand it.  Even the place we looked at this week...on the county website, it is appraised at HALF of what they are asking for it.  Where do people come up with these asking prices?!?  Alright, I'll quit now. We'll find our place.  I have faith! 

Another frustration is work.  I don't know what to do about it. Our office is moving to a new building about 10-15 minutes farther away from where we currently are, and I have this fear that I'm going to hate the drive.  I know it's only 15 minutes farther, but that's an extra 30 minutes of my day in the car.  And we're planning on moving soon, most likely farther away from the cities, which will add even more time to my commute.  I still get to work from home about half the time (depending on the week), but who knows how long that will last.  I'm trying not to worry too much about it until there's something to worry about, but I do need to be prepared.  The big move is less than a month away now.  I love my job!  To be honest, I have looked at other options, like remote jobs, but I don't think I could leave my job.  I love my patients.  I enjoy working with the providers I work with.  I feel like this is where I belong, making connections with real people whom I get to see in person occasionally and focusing on one specialty.  I don't know; we'll see.  I will know if/when the time is right, and it's not.  It's tough right now because our department is short-staffed and some of our providers who have been there from the beginning have recently left or retired....I won't go into all the details but it's just a very busy time regardless of COVID and we are all feeling it. And it's not going to be over for a while.  But that's the nature of nursing, isn't it?!

Sigh.

There have been some really good things going on, too, and for those I am incredibly grateful!

I got to spend a couple of days with my in-laws -- I know you're thinking that should go under the "frustrating" part, ha ha, but it was actually a really fun time.  Our niece (my hubby's brother's daughter) is getting married in October so we aunts on this branch of the family tree had a shower for her earlier this month, and I helped my sister-in-laws (or should that be sisters-in-law?) with the shower.  If you really know me, you know that I'm super shy and not the kind of person to jump in and say, Yes! I will help plan a party! because I'm just not a party-planning kind of person. So I surprised even myself when I did just that.  Well, my SIL sent out an email asking for help picking up some of the items and I offered to help set up etc. as well. I'm so glad I did! It was nice to just spend some time with them (my husband's sisters).  I have a horrible relationship with my own sister, so maybe part of that was just craving a sisterly relationship.  Regardless, it was a highlight for me, and the shower turned out wonderfully, and I wish I could spend more time with my husband's sisters and am so thankful that they treat me like one of the family.  

We got the camper back!  This actually happened the day of the bridal shower, which was a Saturday. I was bummed because I wanted to go with to pick it up -- we were going to make a camping trip out of it!  Alas, that did not happen.  The hubby ended up getting up at the butt-crack of dawn and driving solo across the entire state of Wisconsin in order to get to the shop before they closed at noon (and not be the guy who rolls in at 11:58am).  He waffled about whether to drive back the same day, or get a campsite for the night, and ultimately decided to come back the same day.  It's about a 5.5 hour drive one-way, for perspective, but he got it done and we got the camper back, and (since I know you're dying to know this!) he stopped at the nearest dumping station ASAP and emptied the black and grey tanks and amazingly, no permanent damage has been done!  WHEW.  So relieved! You don't even want to know what I was imagining...

Anywho, so since we got the camper back just about 11 days before our vacation to the Black Hills, the hubby was able to call and cancel our hotel reservations and re-make campground reservations instead.  Not the same campground reservations as we'd originally had, but that didn't matter; what did matter is that we were going to be camping in the Black Hills and all was again right with the world! 

We just got back from that trip earlier this week. It was amazing!  Although, I'm not going to say "I told you so!" but when the hubby said we were going to drive from home to Hill City in one day, even though I told him that my Dad would always make it a 2-day trip when we went out there... well, I did try a couple of times to convince him otherwise.  However, he made an excellent point: we only had 5 days for our trip.  Besides, the last time I was there was 30 years ago, so maybe I was just remembering it differently.  And, unlike when we drove out there when I was a kid, there are TWO drivers, so we could share the driving and it wouldn't be so bad, right?

We made it in one day.  It was a long day, and we ended up leaving a day earlier than we'd planned because we didn't want to spend the last day driving 12 hours again, but we still had a great time and did all the things we wanted to do this time.  :)  Like I said above, my family used to go out there every year when I was little, but I hadn't been there in about 30 years.  In a way, it felt like I was going home after a very long absence.  I was kind of leery of taking this trip at first, kind of afraid that the hubby wouldn't like it after all the hype from my parents (who absolutely LOVE the Black Hills) and afraid that it wouldn't be as cool now as it was in my memories.  But I needn't have worried.  He enjoyed it very much, and I found it all -- the history, the scenery, and especially the wildlife -- even more interesting than I ever did as a kid.  Of course, I found the touristy crap even more hokey, too... but the scenery more than made up for that.  I was kind of sad that there were no Indians with horses standing on the corner of the touristy little Wild West towns; I don't know if they're not there anymore because tourist season is winding down, or because of COVID, or for liability reasons, or what, but I did love going through those towns and seeing the horses and the hokey little horse-drawn wagons pulling tourists down the street, when I was little.

ANYWAY...so we got back from that, with no major issues with the camper!  There are always minor issues with the camper.  There is some kind of black thin fabric underneath it, I don't know what it's purpose is, but it has been falling off probably since the first trip out.  We stopped at one gas station and a whole big section of this fabric was literally hanging on by a thread under the camper.  Also, some of the trim around one of the wheel wells came off.  Just driving it.  But nothing major.  When we bought our camper, even the salesperson said that this brand is known for churning these campers out as quickly as possible and cutting corners in order to do so, so honestly, we know they're not the highest quality out there.  "You get what you pay for," right?  And we got a great deal on this camper.  :) I love our camper, but it's got quality issues.  Little, annoying things so far *knock on wood*.  But it doesn't leak and it pulls straight, and it's fun.  We're getting our money's worth out of it, and we know it's not going to last forever, and we know it's not going to be our last camper.  But we had to upgrade from the Shasta Friendship 16, because we're old (haha) and enjoy the finer things in life, such as real mattresses and indoor plumbing.  

We're going on another vacation this week.  So weird, we just got back and now we're going again, and it's not even work-related!  We're not camping this time, bummer.  We're flying to Memphis for the long weekend (and to celebrate our birthaversaries).  Not sure what we'll do there, other than tour Graceland.  I guess we'll see!  I'm not looking forward to flying at all.  Airplanes are too germy, and I felt that way even before COVID.  After we went to Hawaii, I was so sick afterward -- I had strep and bronchitis and if you know me and my man-cold self, I felt like I was on my deathbed.  From being in a stupid germy tin can for 12 hours.  Ever since then, being in airplanes gives me the heebie-jeebies, imagining all that recirculated (GERMY!) air going around and around for hours and hours.  At least this time, we'll have masks.  

The other rotten thing that's happened lately that I really don't want to talk about yet because I WILL start to cry is that my BFF moved to the other side of the country.  I've known for a few years that this was coming, eventually, but it was one of those things that just suddenly hit me at once because I was like, it's not like she's dropping off the face of the planet and I'll never get to talk to her again; we mostly text and message each other anyway (because I don't do phone calls), so it'll still be like that, we'll just be farther away and won't be able to have spontaneous trips to Hobby Lobby or the casino.  But now that it's actually happened, I don't want to talk about it right now. 

On that note, oh! One other good thing that's happened lately. I've been losing weight :D again :D :D and am almost back down under 200!  I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday...which is, when? Weren't you paying attention?? I've only mentioned it like twice already!!  UGH.  It's like no one even reads anything I write.  That's OK, I write for myself more than anything, anyway.  I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday, and it's going to be close but I don't think I'll make it.  But I think it's a noticeable difference since the beginning of the year, and even if other people don't notice it, clothes that were once snug on me are now loose-fitting, and I can see parts of my kneecaps that used to be encased in fatty-fat-fat, and my elbows have points again, and my shoes are almost too big again, and I think I'm down at least one chin.  I don't know for sure how much I've lost because my scale at home is a piece of crap and isn't very accurate, but by the scale at work I've lost 20 pounds since the beginning of summer.  Go, me!  I'm not done yet, I have a lot more to lose.  And this time I am going to keep it off!!

Alright, that's all I have for now.  TTYL!

Changes aren't permanent...

...but change is!!

Remember when we were in school, and got to the ages where we started signing things for our friends before school was out for the summer? I think it started around 5th or 6th grade when we'd hand out the little wallet-sized prints of our school pictures to our friends and classmates, and we'd write cute little messages on the back and stuff.  I'm sure that practice is long obsolete thanks to digital photos, smartphones, and social media, but back then, sharing school pics was a vital tool in documenting our year, before we had yearbooks.  

*blows dust off rocking chair*

And back when I was in school, we didn't get yearbooks until the 7th grade, which was known as "junior high school".  And they were paperback, not hardcover.  And our junior high school was only two grades, 7th and 8th.  Before that, we were in elementary school, and after that, we were in high school.  It was a simpler time.  We didn't need to be told we were in the middle; we already knew.

😄😄😄

If we wanted to have "yearbooks" before 7th grade, we might've taken what was left of a notebook and had our friends sign it.  Of course, we'd tear out the pages of actual, like, notes and stuff, first.  Maybe we'd even go buy a brand new, cute notebook for the occasion, but likely not because school supplies were expensive during the off-season.  Maybe we'd use a folder or our Trapper Keeper or something other than a notebook for our friends to sign, instead.  Regardless, no matter what it was we were signing, or when, someone would undoubtedly write: "Stay as sweet as you are!"

Gag me with a spoon! :P

There were other variations: Stay as nice as you are, stay as smart as you are, Stay as cute as you are, Stay just the way you are, but the sentiment was the same: don't ever change.  In fact, those words were used sometimes, too: "Don't ever change!"  At the time, that seemed like such a nice thing to say.  But now?  WTAF!?  Why would you tell me not to change?!  What made you think I wanted to be a quiet, nerdy, shy little pipsqueak rule-following teacher's pet with crippling social anxiety who was afraid to stand up for herself for the rest of her life?!?

Sorry, then-friends.  I did not stay as sweet as I was.  Life happened, as it does to the best of us.  I didn't stay as smart, either; I got SMARTER! Ha, ha, ha.  Alright, whatever.  This is not what I intended to sit down and write about.

The house hunt continues.  I need to come up with a better name for it than "the house hunt".  Something will come to me soon.  It's kind of scary: as I write this, sitting just out of arm's reach is a stack of paperwork that declares our intentions to make our little home sweet home the property of someone else.  This place where we've lived for the last 17 years, that up until recently I thought was going to be our home forever.  I'm not going to lie and say that moving from here has ever been an easy decision, and we're only in the very beginning processes!  But taking these first few steps to make it REAL are making it seem, you know...real.  So real that it's making me teary-eyed while typing this.  Dammit!  This isn't even the hard part yet.  The hard part will be packing up our things and leaving one day.

I don't think I've mentioned yet that my workplace is also moving, very soon.  In about a month, to be exact.  From downtown St. Paul, to Roseville.  From the 2nd floor of a 5-floor medical specialty building on the campus of a busy medical area (seriously -- 2 hospitals and 3 medical specialty buildings (maybe more, I'm too lazy to actually count them all right now) in a busy metro location, to the first floor of a 2-floor suburban-like brand new medical building, surrounded by mostly retail and chain restaurants.  It will be interesting, but truth be told, I'm scared as hell.  Change is scary.  When we moved from the city out here to a small town, I was scared that we would hate it once we actually got here.  When I left the hospital for my current job, I was scared that I would hate it once I actually got there.  So you can guess how I'm feeling about the upcoming clinic move.  It's a longer drive for me.  A different work environment.  It'll be like starting a new job, except we'll all be starting a new job at once.  And I won't have my own office anymore, pout.  I mean, it'll still be the same job, with the same people and the same patients.  Just a different place.  It'll be fine.  But it's change. 

Speaking of change...I was going to share a few more things that other people should know (if they don't already) about house hunting that I've learned recently, mm-kay?

1. If the basement is semi-finished, but has recently had the carpet pulled up and the drywall removed, it probably flooded.

2. Likewise, if the drywall on the basement walls is missing the bottom half, it probably flooded.

3. When looking at online listings, cross-reference everything.  If you find something you like on a site like Zillow, go to the originating site to double-check the status.

4. Do NOT, under any circumstances, get your hopes up about anything, ever.

5. And if you're buying a house from your parents, try not to talk about all the changes you plan to make as soon as your parents move out because it might make your mom sad because she's a sap like that sometimes, ok Stone?.

And one more topic change, because I seem to be typing awfully fast today, we FINALLY got our camper back!  I don't think I wrote about that in here, did I?  *pause for review* Egads, I did NOT!  Well, sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...

Road America 2021.  Yee-HAW!!  4th of July weekend! Road America is this awesome racetrack located here in our very own state of residence where, long story short, the NASCAR Cup Series returned to race this year after a looooong absence (crap, I can't remember how long now! 58 years? 59 years?) and we were there!  We went to Road America (or RA for short) last year for the first time for the NASCAR, um, "other" series (alright, it's the Xfinity Cup Series but I still want to call it the Busch Series even though it's been the Xfinity Cup Series for most of my adult life) and had the time of our lives.  RA has kick-ass campground facilities as well as being a truly unique place to watch a race, and before the race was even over last year we'd decided we had to return again.  So when we found out shortly afterward that the Cup Series was returning this year, there wasn't even a question as to whether we would go or not.  We love us some NASCAR, and we love us some camping, so BAM!  Bring it on!

And so, RA brought it, and we brought it, too.  We packed it all up in our trusty little Forest River Wildwood X-Lite camper and our trusty little Chevy Silverado crew cab pickup, and headed east. Road America or BUST!!  (I so wanted to write that on the camper windows.  I can turn into a crazy NASCAR fan on a dime. You wouldn't believe it. And no alcohol is involved!!)  

As you do when travelling whilst pulling a camper (or any trailer, really), whenever you stop for gas, or "rest", or anything in between, you get out and check everything to make sure it looks good.  You make sure everything is still attached and nothing is falling apart, that the doors are still closed and the tires are still inflated, etc. etc.  I've been doing this since I was little.  I don't always know what I'm looking for, lol, but sometimes I know when things don't look "right".  Kind of like when I open up the hood and look at a car's engine compartment.  But, I digress.

Everything looked fine the whole way there.  The trip was uneventful, but long.  5 hours or so.  We finally got there, and waited in line to get in (which wasn't too bad), and the hubby got the camper backed into our spot (which also wasn't too bad, says the person who can't back a trailer to save her life) and it was when we were getting the camper settled and leveled that I noticed It.  One of the wheels on the left side. The hub cap was missing and it looked...wrong.  Again, I couldn't say exactly what was wrong with it, but I knew it was wrong, and the fact that it's got dual axles so it was literally right next to a completely normal wheel helped proved my point: it looked very wrong.  So I called my hubby over to show him.

The fact that he didn't say anything at first scared me.  "Is that bad?" I asked.

It was probably a good thing I couldn't see his face.  "Yep."

"How bad?"  

I don't remember if he didn't answer, or just didn't answer soon enough for me.

"Are we stuck here?"

"Yep."

And that, boys and girls, was the official Beginning of the Story.  

To sum the rest of it up, it turned out that we lost the wheel bearing and were very blessed that we didn't lose the tire!  And the last time we had stopped and checked everything was about 20 minutes away from the campground, so....WHEW! God was watching out for us!!

There are a few side stories to this.  The camper is still under warranty, so the hubby called that day (mind you, this was the Thursday before the 4th of July weekend) and the nice lady he talked to made arrangements for a tow truck to pick up the camper on Monday and take it to a local dealership to be repaired.  No problem, we could either stick around and wait for it, or come back the next weekend and get it, depending on how long it would take.  Not ideal, but not the worst thing to happen. Frustrating, yes, but we were there to have fun so we were going to have fun!! (Eventually!)

So, Monday morning came around, and when the tow truck driver called to confirm they were coming, they said that they weren't sure they could tow a camper.  They thought we had a motorhome, not a travel trailer.  They'd call back and let us know.  In the meantime, hubby tried calling the dealership where we were supposed to be taking the camper to confirm that they knew we were coming.  At first there was no answer, but it was also just before 8am -- still, we weren't sure if they were open or not, since it was the Monday after 4th of July and a lot of places were observing the holiday that day.  After some tense moments, hubby confirmed that no, the dealership was NOT expecting us; and oh yeah, by the way, they also did not service travel trailers, anyway.  Nice!  So, while waiting for a call back from the tow truck people, the hubby found a local RV repair shop and confirmed that they could take a look at our camper. Sometime that week.  In the meantime, the tow truck people called and said they were sending out a different truck.  

The other truck got there, and instead of being a flatbed truck like we'd thought, it was just a service van. Turns out, the guy just kind of chocked up the bad wheel so we could still tow the camper, and we limped it along like that to the shop.  But wait! We went to the wrong shop at first.  Because the place had two locations.  One is the showroom and parts center, and one is the shop.  The website wasn't totally clear on that.  Since the number we called was the showroom and parts center, that's where we went.  The shop was another half hour away.  Fun, fun, fun!

We FINALLY got the camper to the shop and dropped it off.  And headed home without it.  Later that week, the hubby got a call letting us know that they'd need to replace the whole frickin' axle.  Apparently, it got so hot that the axle welded to the wheel (?) and they needed to replace the whole axle.  The hubby said Of course, do it, we're not driving it home the way it is.  They said it would be about 6 weeks to get the axle in stock.  What were we going to say?!  We had no choice.  

The problem was, we were planning on going camping in South Dakota in about six weeks.  Who knew if we'd have the camper back by then? At that rate, it didn't seem likely.  So, we cancelled our camping reservations and changed them to hotel reservations.  I was bummed.  It's just not the same!!  

BUT, and now I really have to wrap this up....last Friday, the hubby got a text that the camper was finished! So he went the next day and picked it up, and was able to cancel the hotel reservations and find a couple of campsites, and South Dakota camping trip is BACK ON!!!  

And here's another thing we learned: you CAN leave the black and grey tanks half-full (or so) for about a month in the summer without being dumped without any permanent damage!!  No solids, though.  Just liquids.  

TTFN!

The Trifecta of Happiness.

Boy oh boy, the things you can learn on the interwebs, I tell you what.  Just now, for instance, in the space of about 0.59 seconds (give or take), I learned that the Trifecta of Happiness is:

• Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin; and/or
• Good friendships, a lover, and work; and/or
• The body, mind, and soul.

Technical alert: I didn't actually learn all of that in 0.59 seconds.  I wish I could learn that quickly! I should've said that I was able to pull up that information via my favorite search engine in 0.59 seconds.  

It's a curious phenomenon, this idea that things always need to happen in threes.  I tend to roll my eyes when people say things like, "You know things always happen in threes!" because I tend to think that things only happen in threes when people go looking for things to happen in threes.  I have nothing against the number three; it's one of my favorite numbers.  It's an odd number, and it looks like a backward capital E or a sideways M or W; what's not to love?!  I suppose the fact that I was born on the 3rd of the month that is 3 squared has something to do with that, too.  (Alas, I was born in an even year.  BUT, if you add up the numbers in the year I was born until you get a single digit, that single digit will be...wait for it...3! Whoa. I just figured that one out right now.)

And haven't you ever noticed that when giving examples of something, or asked to describe someone or something, people tend to list three things? 

...No? You don't notice this?  It's just me, and it usually sticks out to me due to incorrect or inconsistent comma usage?  Alright then.  Point taken.

Seriously!  Notice it sometime.  Just humor me.

😆😆😆

Alright.  My point being that the house hunt continues, and at times it's frustrating due to the inability to find what I have decided to call the Trifecta of Happiness.  This was before I knew that term was already used for other things, so I thought I was being creative and witty.  Damn internet, stealing the wind out of my sails.  But, I digress, and only have about ten minutes left of my lunch break, so without further ado, I present: The Trifecta of Happiness in House-Hunting:

• The House. Pretty obvious, right? Although I use the term "house-hunting" for lack of a better term -- another technicality call here, because we're not just looking for a house. But that's the rest of the list.  In our search, we are looking for a house that we don't want to tear down and rebuild.  One that is pretty much the way we want it.  Turn-key.  
• The Land.  At least 5 acres, preferably 10 or more, and some of it must be suitable for horses.  Guess we could add "The Location" in here as well, because we don't want to be in town (you'd think that goes without saying, but we found a place that was 10 acres in town...) and we also want to be within driving distance of our jobs and church and families.  And "The Outbuildings" because we'd like some of those, too.  An attached garage would be nice.  A detached garage would be nice, too.  ("As well as", not "instead of".  We have a lot of vehicles.)  We also need, at the very least, a lean-to for the horses and a hay barn.  As always, more is better, but a 12-stall horse barn might be too much.
• The Price.  The amount that the bank is willing to loan us and the amount we are willing to borrow from the bank are two very different numbers, the greater figure being in the bank's favor.  In other words, I'll take it back to one of my favorite sayings: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."  

So far, we are able to find 2 out of the 3 on a pretty consistent basis.  Which is encouraging, but also frustrating.  There are some great houses in great locations out there that are just a tad out of our price range...or acreage close-by that is affordable but with terrible houses on them...le sigh.  I just gotta keep having faith that we will find our next castle.  :)  It would be nice to take that last bulleted item out of the equation...