Closing in on Month 3...

Okay, I think I'm getting this "patience" thing down pretty darn well.  I don't jump when the phone rings, I don't act on the urges to go out and buy tons of baby things (although there are some darn cute things out there that I'm looking forward to having for our next child), and I haven't even started assembling the nursery yet.  The hubby occasionally reminds me that we've only been waiting for almost three months now, "which is nothing considering how many people wait years for a match".  Yeah, yeah, yeah; I know.  It's always at the forefront of my mind, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of carrying on with life que usuel despite the fact that any minute now one of these days, we will get a phone call that will change our lives forever.

So I'm trying to be patient, and also trying not to worry.  I'm not usually a worrywart, but there is just so much to worry about right now!  I worry that it will take us years to be matched.  I worry about how we will all adjust to the changes that will be forced upon us once we add a baby to our mix.  I worry about how we will work out a suitable arrangement with the birthmother/family.  I worry about how the boy will react to not being the only child anymore.  I worry that I won't have enough strength to parent two children at opposite ends of the "childhood" spectrum.  I worry about losing sleep.  I worry about whether my Tahoe will last long enough to be used as a family vehicle (since it would take some pretty creative acrobatics to use a car seat in the Monte Carlo, and since the minivan has been commandeered for plumbing side job purposes, and since the hubby says we can't get a new Camaro "because you can't put a car seat in a Camaro!" which I'd like to take as a personal challenge).  I worry about what to do about work after we "have" a baby.  I worry that this will never happen.  I worry that it will happen too soon.  I worry that I'm worrying too much.  I worry that I'm not worrying enough.

Usually not, though.  For the most part, I'm able to let it be (Let Go and Let God, remember?) and carry on with life already in progress.  Honestly, I don't think about it much until people ask me how things are going.  I feel bad that I have to say, "No, nothing yet...".  Trust me, I cannot wait for the day when I will have a different answer -- in fact, you probably won't even have to ask me first!

Well, as National Adoption Awareness Month draws to a close, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who has anything at all to do with keeping the miracle that is adoption alive and well.  May we all continue to be "adoption awareness" advocates the other eleven months of the year, too . . .