Closing in on Month 3...

Okay, I think I'm getting this "patience" thing down pretty darn well.  I don't jump when the phone rings, I don't act on the urges to go out and buy tons of baby things (although there are some darn cute things out there that I'm looking forward to having for our next child), and I haven't even started assembling the nursery yet.  The hubby occasionally reminds me that we've only been waiting for almost three months now, "which is nothing considering how many people wait years for a match".  Yeah, yeah, yeah; I know.  It's always at the forefront of my mind, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of carrying on with life que usuel despite the fact that any minute now one of these days, we will get a phone call that will change our lives forever.

So I'm trying to be patient, and also trying not to worry.  I'm not usually a worrywart, but there is just so much to worry about right now!  I worry that it will take us years to be matched.  I worry about how we will all adjust to the changes that will be forced upon us once we add a baby to our mix.  I worry about how we will work out a suitable arrangement with the birthmother/family.  I worry about how the boy will react to not being the only child anymore.  I worry that I won't have enough strength to parent two children at opposite ends of the "childhood" spectrum.  I worry about losing sleep.  I worry about whether my Tahoe will last long enough to be used as a family vehicle (since it would take some pretty creative acrobatics to use a car seat in the Monte Carlo, and since the minivan has been commandeered for plumbing side job purposes, and since the hubby says we can't get a new Camaro "because you can't put a car seat in a Camaro!" which I'd like to take as a personal challenge).  I worry about what to do about work after we "have" a baby.  I worry that this will never happen.  I worry that it will happen too soon.  I worry that I'm worrying too much.  I worry that I'm not worrying enough.

Usually not, though.  For the most part, I'm able to let it be (Let Go and Let God, remember?) and carry on with life already in progress.  Honestly, I don't think about it much until people ask me how things are going.  I feel bad that I have to say, "No, nothing yet...".  Trust me, I cannot wait for the day when I will have a different answer -- in fact, you probably won't even have to ask me first!

Well, as National Adoption Awareness Month draws to a close, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who has anything at all to do with keeping the miracle that is adoption alive and well.  May we all continue to be "adoption awareness" advocates the other eleven months of the year, too . . .

November is National Adoption Awareness Month :)

And, apparently, November 17th is National Adoption Day.

And, we've now officially been "on the books" for two months.  Or "on the waiting list", if you prefer.  I prefer "on the books".  The term "waiting list" implies that we're just, you know, waiting for our number to come up.  Which isn't exactly untrue, but it also implies that our wait is as simple as checking names off of a list, and when our name is at the top of the list, our wait will be over.  That seems to be a common misconception, so I think I'll go with "on the books" from now on.  

Nothing new to report on our end.  I still entertain the idea of calling our case worker to see if there's been any, you know, "activity" with our portfolios . . . but I haven't.  (And, of course, by "calling" I really mean "emailing".)  I was hoping I'd be immune to the ringing-induced tachycardia I had heard so much about in hopeful adoptive families, but that does not seem to be the case; my heart does, indeed, speed up with anticipation every time the dang phone rings.  Which is often, because every political group under the sun seems to have our phone number this election season.  I think I reach my target heart rate at least half a dozen times per day!  

I've put Operation: Lactation Initiation on hold for the time being.  Don't get me wrong, I am greatly encouraged by the small amount of success I had based on how intermittently I was making whole-hearted, honest attempts at pumping on a regular basis; I am still fully committed to this end and I plan on getting back to it once we are, you know, "closer".  :)  

As for the so-called "rest of our lives", nothing new to report there, either!  Wow, I wonder if I should even post this entry . . . it's so full of nothing!  It doesn't help that today is a cold, grey, dreary, rainy day and I'm feeling like Eeyore is my kindred spirit and I'm fighting the urge to go take a nap because it's just such a perfect day for napping!  

In summary: I wish I had something exciting to report, but I don't.  Not yet.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all the other hopeful adoptive families like ours, who are waiting just as [im]patiently for "the call".  This isn't going to happen in our time, it will happen in His time.  God is in control.  It will happen when it's meant to happen, and not a moment sooner (or later).  These are the things I need to remember . . .