Obviously, none of that is the case. I don't have a bag packed and ready to go (although I know I can get one packed quickly if we should need to take off for the other side of the state on short notice). The nursery is definitely not set up, unless you count the fact that there are a couple of baskets of baby things up there along with a stack of blankets I've crocheted in the last nine months, and a pack-n-play is sitting, unassembled, in the corner (although the crib is still in pieces in the pole barn!). We don't really have a phone/text list, although I do have a list in my head of who we will notify and roughly in what order when we finally get The Call. Instead of seeing my doctor every week, I get an email from our caseworker every three months, checking in to see if there are any big changes in our lives. So it's similar, but not quite the same. And, unless you know me personally enough to know what's going on, there aren't any outwardly obvious signs that we're expecting.
I love it when people ask me if there is any news yet. No, really; I do! I just wish I could take away the sad looks I get when I say, "No, nothing yet." I'm not sad about it. Well, I'm usually not sad about it. :) The thing is, I'm not expecting we'll get much in the way of "news" until it actually happens -- and by "it actually happens" I'm referring to our being matched with a birthmom. We don't receive automatic updates whenever someone has looked at our portfolio -- although I do ask our caseworker every three months if there has been any activity in that respect. I don't know what to say in answer to that question, other than "No, nothing yet." But I can't tell you how much I appreciate that people actually keep asking! :)
So, we're still waiting. At our last review a few weeks ago, I found out that our portfolio had been looked at again, so, yay!! Nothing came of it, but at least it's getting looked at. I pulled out my color-copy of it the other day and looked at it again, for the first time in a loooooong time. I couldn't help but look at it with way more scrutiny than I ever have before, wondering if my tone and wording weren't right, or if I'd chosen the wrong pictures, or something...trying desperately to find whatever is "wrong" with it that would make people look at it but not choose us. I know, of course, that it's nothing to do with the portfolio. That thing is a creation directly from my heart, so it is most certainly and without a doubt "us", and therefore nothing is "wrong" with it, it's just that our birthmom hasn't seen it yet. But I had to peruse it again, just in case.
In other news...not much. Just enjoying summer now that it's finally here, trying to keep up with gardening and yard work and house work, and keeping the boy entertained for the summer. Can't believe he's a sophomore already! He starts driver's ed in a few weeks...*shudder*. Speaking of the boy, he and the hubby are headed out to the east coast right now with a group of kids and a few adults from church for the youth mission trip. They'll be on the Jersey short, helping with post-Sandy clean-up. I wanted to go, but wasn't able to get the time off from work; hopefully next year I can join them! I've got an exciting week planned without them -- insert sarcasm here. Unless you consider "working every day" exciting.
Oh, well. Just gotta keep hanging in there and believing!
Until next time...
